Equilibrium
by StarSerene
Summary: Padawan Drinna Berrik had no idea a war was going start while she and her Master were assigned to Naboo. But start it does and now Drinna is on the run from a Dathomirian Zabrak who killed her Master and is desperately trying to find the Queen. Throw in a huge ripple in the Force from Tatooine and an old friend who is about to be Knighted and you get Drinna's story.
1. Chapter 1

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….

* * *

"Send a transmission to the blockade," Queen Amidala commanded, striding into the throne room. "I wish to speak with Viceroy Gunray."

Drinna Berik, in her place behind the throne, raised an eyebrow at the fourteen year old queen. This was unexpected, to say the least. Drinna had known the Queen of Naboo to be… impulsive. She wouldn't have made the perfect Jedi had she been Force-sensitive.

"Again you come before us, Your Highness," the Viceroy said, gazing steadily upon the Queen with those watery eyes. Drinna would have shuddered if she hadn't had better self-control.

"You will not be so pleased when you hear what I have to say, Viceroy. Your trade boycott of our planet has ended." The two Neimoidians turned to look at each other. Drinna resisted the urge to look at the Queen in confusion. She hadn't heard of anything that would end the blockade.

"I was not aware of such failure," Gunray returned.

"I have word that the chancellor's ambassadors are with you now," the Queen replied, "and that you have been commanded to reach settlement." Now Drinna really was surprised. For the Senate to take such action already?

"I know nothing of any ambassadors," the Viceroy returned. "You must be mistaken." Drinna mentally shook her head. Trust those cowardly Neimoidians to be slimy when it came to money. They had to have a contact on the inside.

"Beware, Viceroy. The Federation has gone too far this time." Drinna applauded the young queen for keeping her cool.

"We would never do anything without the approval of the senate. You assume too much."

"We will see." With that, Drinna stepped forward and cut communications off.

* * *

"Negotiations haven't started because the ambassadors aren't there? How could that be true?" Senator Palpatine, a longtime friend of Naboo, said. Neither Drinna nor her master had met the man. "I have assurances from the chancellor his ambassadors did arrive. It must - handiwork - negotiate - ambassadors - nobody would -"

The transmission, which had been flickering, had now gone out completely.

"Senator Palpatine," the Queen spoke. When nothing happened, she turned and looked at her head of security. "What's happening?"

"Check the transmission generator," Captain Panaka commanded. A nearby officer pulled out his comlink and began to speak in hushed tones.

"A communications disruption can only mean one thing: invasion." Governor Sio Bibble sometimes got on Drinna's nerves. Drinna forced herself to take deep, calming breaths as the pessimistic governor of Naboo finished speaking.

"The Federation would not dare go that far," the Queen observed. Drinna silently agreed.

"The senate would revoke their trade franchise, and they'd be finished," Captain Panaka added.

"We must continue to rely on negotiation," Queen Amidala finished.

"Negotiation?" the governor replied incredulously. "We've lost all communications. And where are the chancellor's ambassadors?"

Captain Panaka took a deep breath and strode forward, speaking lowly to the Queen.

"This is a dangerous situation, Your Highness. Our security volunteers will be no match against a battle-hardened Federation army."

"Do not forget you have the support of my Master and myself," Drinna whispered, leaning forward from her position. The Queen gave Drinna a small nod of gratitude.

The throne room was silent as death, Drinna observed. It wasn't often one could make a group of politicians silent. But Viceroy Gunray and his blockade had certainly done that.

The Padawan observed those around her, like her Master had taught her to do. She was especially careful to judge the fourteen year old queen beside her. A lot of stress was being put on the girl. She could only hope it wasn't too much.

Having only been on the beautiful planet of Naboo for a month, Drinna knew very little about the politics its leaders engaged in. She didn't know if it would be proper for her to step in and speak her mind.

The queen decided that for her.

"I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war."

* * *

"Tell me, Padawan Berik, what would you do if your actions could lead to peace or war on your planet?" the young queen asked. Drinna gave a humorless laugh.

"My home-planet is full of stubborn people," Drinna returned. "We've been at war with ourselves for ages. Not to mention the other invasions that have happened. In the history of my planet, it is often one brave person who sparks liberation. You and your planet are not in the wrong. You will have the support of the Senate, you just need to hold out. If anything, the Jedi will not leave you stranded."

"Thank you, Padawan Berik," the Queen said with a silent sigh. "I can only hope that none of my people have to die."

* * *

The invasion force had arrived at Theed palace. Drinna hurried through the hallways, sliding to a halt when she saw the Queen bow her head in defeat, still in her previous attire.

"Your Highness, it is not safe here. You cannot be captured and forced to sign anything Gunray has. Come. Your handmaidens are ready and waiting."

Drinna led the Queen through the palace and waited outside of the Queen's rooms. She knew one of the handmaidens would now take the place of the Queen. She just didn't know which one would be the actual Queen.

* * *

It was in the throne room itself that the capture happened. Drinna could only wonder where her master was as she stood beside the faux Queen, dressed in black, the mourning color. They had all known this was going to happen.

To Drinna's surprise, Nute Gunray himself walked through the doors, flanked by twenty or so battle droids. Drinna, while confident in her abilities, knew she could not best all of the droids and stood silently by the Queen's side, lightsaber at the ready.

"I would not do that, if I were you, Jedi," the Viceroy said, gazing meaningfully at the lightsaber hilt in Drinna's hands.

Nevertheless, Drinna waited for the Queen's say-so before she put away the weapon.

"If you would come with me and kindly hand over your weapons," the Neimoidian said, a slimy smile working its way onto his face. "The Queen and I have much to discuss."

* * *

"How will you explain this invasion force to the senate?" Governor Bibble asked as the group went down the stairs.

"The Queen and I will sign a treaty that will legitimize our occupation here," Gunray replied easily. "I have assurances it will be ratified by the senate."

"I will not cooperate," the faux Queen said, perfectly imitating the Queen's tones.

"Now, now, Your Highness. In time, the suffering of your people will persuade you to see our point of view." Drinna and one of the handmaidens exchanged looks of horror that were quickly hidden behind masks of calm. The group stopped at the foot of the stairs as yet another battle droid approached. "Commander."

"Yes, sir."

"Process them."

"Captain, take them to Camp Four."

"Roger, roger."

"Take the Jedi elsewhere," the Viceroy said, gripping Drinna's upper arm as she moved to join the Queen and her people.

Ten droids surrounded the Padawan as she cast a backwards glance toward the Queen of Naboo.

Soon enough, Drinna found out where her master had been. The two Jedi, reunited but without their lightsabers, had been taken to the main hangar, kneeling down with their hands on their heads by one of the Queen's private starships.

"Where is the Queen, Padawan?" Kyla Lergo asked Drinna.

"Last I saw her, with Gunray and being taken to Camp Four. They should have arrived by now," Drinna responded, her eyes averted in shame.

"Have a little faith, my Padawan. If it is the will of the Force, this invasion will not last long."

"Yes, Master."

Drinna perked up after a moment. She felt familiar prescences. The Queen, yes. The faux queen and the other handmaidens as well. Captain Panaka, Governor Bibble… and two Jedi.

"I feel them, too," Master Lergo replied. "Tell me if you recognize them."

Drinna reached out through the Force… the familiar presence of an old friend… she had trained with him…

"Obi-Wan Kenobi and his master, Qui-Gon Jinn," Drinna said with absolute certainty. She had recognized him the moment he had reached out with the Force, feeling familiar prescences as well. Drinna knew he had recognized her Force signature as well.

Sure enough, Drinna saw the droids guarding her and her master look up when she felt Obi-Wan and Master Jinn enter the main hangar.

"We'll need to free those pilots," Captain Panaka called from behind them.

"I'll deal with that." It was Obi-Wan. Drinna would recognize that voice anywhere, and involuntarily smiled. He had quickly become her friend when they were just Initiates.

The Commander in charge of the two Jedi stopped the remainder of the party behind them.

"I'm ambassador to the supreme chancellor," Master Jinn responded. "I'm taking these people to Coruscant."

"Where are you taking them?" the droid asked. Drinna rolled her eyes.

"To Coruscant."

"Coruscant? Uh, that doesn't compute. Uh, wait. You're under arrest," the droid responded. Drinna let out a little sigh and she sat back on her heels, the droids that had been previously watching them now distracted.

"Patience, my Padawan," Master Lergo chuckled.

In an instant, blasterfire rang out and the familiar hum of two lightsabers joined the fray. Another instant and the droids were reduced to smithereens as the pilots around them flocked to safety.

"Come on. Move!" Master Jinn called, forcing the oncoming droids away.

Master Lergo pulled her lightsaber from the demolished body of a nearby droid and entered the fray, Drinna following seconds behind.

As the last of the battle droids lay defeated, Master Lergo turned to Master Jinn.

"We'll handle things from here. Get the Queen to safety."

Obi-Wan smiled at Drinna, who returned the gesture, before running up the ramp of the Queen's starship. Master Jinn nodded to the other Master-apprentice duo and followed as destroyers made their way to the hangar.

The two Jedi threw droid parts at the destroyers, crushing them. Drinna was honestly surprised it worked, but the destroyers hadn't been able to get their shields up in time.

Drinna stopped in her tracks as she gazed at the retreating pilots. Something unpleasant twisted at her gut. Slimy, swirling, cold, and cruel.

"I feel it," her Master responded softly, slowing as well.

The feeling grew and Drinna looked to the entrance of the hangar. A figure dressed in all black appeared at the doors.

"Drinna, run," her Master breathed, hissing out a sharp breath as the figure pulled a lightsaber hilt from the folds of its robes.

The red and black skin of the creature curled into a snarl as it threw back its hood. Drinna, while she did not recognize the sharp black lines on the creature's face, recognized that it was a Zabrak, like herself. Only, this Zabrak must have been from Dathomir, not Iridonia, her home-planet.

"Drinna! Run!" Master Lergo called, not sparing a glance as her Padawan. Drinna, previously frozen in shock, hastily turned her lightsaber off and clicked her lightsaber in place on her belt. Stumbling backward at the pure fear and hatred radiating off of the Zabrak before her, Drinna turned and ran toward the open hangar, stopping only when she realized her Master was not following her.

"Master-"

"Go, Drinna. Do not look back." Drinna reached out with the Force. Her master was calm, but Drinna was almost brought to her knees with the strength of emotions and darkness curling off of the Zabrak's skin.

Drinna turned and ran as the Zabrak lit its lightsaber and advanced on her master, stopping only when she reached the edge of the hangar, the only sounds left in the hangar the humming of the two lightsabers.

"Go, Drinna!" her master repeated. Without hesitation, Drinna jumped, using the Force to cushion her fall. Then she was off running again.

Drinna bit back a scream of pain as she felt residual heat graze her upper arm. She knew logically it was not her own pain. Her Master was in trouble. But her Master had said to run and not look back, so she pushed the pain down, drowning it in the Force as she went, crashing through jungled swampland.

The occasional jolt of heat and pain would greet her, but Drinna grit her teeth and kept running, breathing heavily and listening to the squish of her feet in the mud and counting steps aimlessly.

Drinna stopped, gasping for breath as she fell to her knees. Something was happening. The sick, twisted feeling returned in her gut. Her Master was in pain, screaming through the bond they shared. Drinna gasped at the onslaught, clutching her head.

"No!" Drinna yelled into the void of the jungle. "Master!"

And then there was an overwhelming pain in her head and… and emptiness. She felt… pain, fire, everything burning… and then a moment of calm before her head nearly ripped itself apart.

* * *

The first thing Drinna did when she woke up was reach out in the Force. It was instinctual, but it brought her gasping out of the trance she had been in.

Empty. That's all she felt. Empty.

Drinna slowly sat up, pulling her knees to her chest as she gasped for breath. Her Master could fix this. Her Master would know what to do. So Drinna reached out through the Force for her Master, and immediately recoiled.

She felt… nothing. Where the bond had been between Master and apprentice was now nothing.

Kyla Lergo was dead and had been killed by the twisted Zabrak.

Drinna didn't know how to feel… Perhaps she should be sad, filled with grief. She had just lost her Master, her friend, her parental figure. Or maybe she should be angry that that darksider had killed her Master. Or angry at herself for running. She could have stopped it. She should have stopped it. But most of all, Drinna recognized fear in her jumble of emotions. She was afraid of the Darksider. And she didn't know why.

Drinna slowly released herself from the position she had been in, moving towards a standard meditation form. She could reflect on her surroundings later. She could reflect on the Darksider later. But now, she needed to release herself from the suffocating emotions.

Taking a deep breath, Drinna focused on her grief. It was there, poignant and stabbing through her two hearts. Drinna nearly sobbed as she felt it twist against her wishes, driving deeper into the wound. Taking a deep, gulping, shuddering breath, Drinna dived deeper into her grief and found the source, letting the pain claw at her heart for a minute before she let it go and felt it dissipate.

Drinna sagged against the wall behind her. The effort of letting go of one emotion without her Master's help had drained her. The Force, her emotions, everything was pressing in on her, threatening to break the dam.

It was at that exact moment that a Gungan walked up to her and tapped her.

"Excusa me," it said roughly. "Yousa better come with meesa." Drinna stood shakily, finally noticing her surroundings.

Otoh Gunga.

To say that the place was a metaphor for her life right now would be an understatement. She was drowning, underwater like the city but her bubble of protection was keeping the pressure from getting to her, keeping her from collapsing. Drinna gulped as she imagined the protective barriers collapsing, her fear peeking out from the bubble she had forced it into to examine later when the Gungan had come to retrieve her.

How had she gotten here?

"Meesa Cap'n Tarpals," the Gungan said. "And yousa?"

Drinna was startled as she was jerked from her thoughts. The Gungan was speaking to her. It… He wanted her name.

"Padawan Drinna Berik," she responded softly. "How did I get here?"

"Weesa found yousa in the swamps, lookin' kinda dead," Captain Tarpals responded, urging her forward not unkindly. "Weesa thinkin' yousa needin' help."

"Thank you," Drinna replied.

"Weesa here."

At Captain Tarpal's prompting, Drinna stepped into a room where the Gungan leaders sat.

"Who is yousa?" the leader in the center asked.

"I am Padawan Drinna Berik," Drinna replied, forcing herself to stand taller despite her shaky limbs. "My Master, Kyla Lergo, and I were assigned to guard Queen Amidala when the Trade Federation began their blockade against Naboo. The Queen was able to get away with the help of another Jedi and his Padawan, but my Master was killed by a Force user. An evil one. The Trade Federation will not stop with Theed Palace. They will come for you next! You must-"

"Enough," the leader in the center bellowed. "Wesa have heard enough from yous two Jedi friends. Wesa no thinkin' desa come foren us."

"Please, you must understand the threat they pose to you!" Drinna protested, attempting to take a step forward and nearly tripping over her feet. "The Trade Federation is greedy and will stop at nothing to get what they want! You have to at least set patrols to keep your city safe!"

The room, much like the throne room in Theed Palace had been, was deathly silent as the Gungan leaders thought over Drinna's words.

"Wesa think about it," the center leader finally said. "But wesa cannot take chancen that theysa find ussen through yousa. Yousa will stay here."

* * *

Drinna didn't know how long she'd been sitting there, alone. She could only hope the Gungans would listen to her and at least set up patrols.

_If anyone is as stubborn as a Zabrak, it has to be the Gungans_, Drinna thought.

On Coruscant, Obi-Wan Kenobi nearly burst into laughter. It was night and he was set to return to Naboo the next morning. Obi-Wan had been meditating and reaching out through the Force for some time, now. He'd felt a ripple in the Force nearly four days ago, and he was wondering if Drinna knew anything about it.

_You'd be surprised_, Obi-Wan responded through the Force. Drinna started in surprise. _Though I doubt anyone could be as stubborn as you_.

_Obi-Wan!_ The Zabrak was relieved to feel the presence of her friend.

_Hello, Drinna. I'm relieved to feel your presence as well. Is everything alright on Naboo?_

Drinna sighed, pausing to shift into a meditation stance.

_No. My Master is…_

Obi-Wan nearly recoiled at the strong emotions Drinna had unwittingly sent through their temporary link. Anger. Sadness, though that was faint, Obi-Wan realized. Fear. Fear everywhere.

_Drinna._

Drinna inhaled sharply and exhaled, forcing her emotions back down.

_I apologize_, she responded. _My Master has been killed. By a Darksider._

_A red-skinned Zabrak?_ Obi-Wan asked.

_How did you-_

_We encountered him on Tatooine._

_Why were you on Tatooine? Is everyone alright? Is the Queen safe?_

Obi-Wan chuckled lightly. The younger Padawan always made him smile when she got concerned.

_We're alright. We're set to head back to Naboo tomorrow._ Obi-Wan nearly gasped as Drinna cringed. _Drinna? Is everything-_

_So much… pain… suffering._ Obi-Wan could feel Drinna gasping for breath.

_Drinna!_ Obi-Wan hadn't realized he had shouted her name until his Master entered the room.

"Obi-Wan, what is it?" Obi-Wan let out a deep breath as he stared at Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Our temporary link has been severed," he sighed, standing from his position. "But not before she was able to share some terrible news."

"I think it is best we speak with the Council immediately."

"Yes, I agree, Master."

* * *

Drinna huddled in her cell, if that's what it could be called. She could hear the Gungans screaming for help as the general alarm sounded. Many of them had been slaughtered already, she knew. Just as the humans of Naboo had been.

"Yousa! Get up!" Captain Tarpals shouted, rushing in and yanking Drinna up. "Wesen under attack!"

Drinna ran alongside Tarpals, observing the fearful Gungans. Their emotions screamed at her, nearly drowning her as she fought to shut them out.

But there was a more powerful feeling seeping into the Gungan city. Rage.

It was the Darksider, Drinna knew. She felt it in her gut, writhing, twisting, clawing, screaming darkness and hate.

Captain Tarpals was dragging the Padawan now, her mind at the surface of the lake where the Zabrak was slaughtering the patrols of Gungans.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, all! Merry Christmas, I guess. Or Christmas Eve. I know it's a little silly to be publishing today, but my holidays are going to be pretty chill, so I'll be publishing this chapter today. Maybe next chapter as well.**

**Anyways, I hope you all have a wonderful week and I'll see you all soon!**

* * *

The Darksider's presence had faded now that we were away from Otoh Gunga. It had been two days.

Captain Tarpals had told me I had been in custody of the Gungans five days before Otoh Gunga had been attacked and Boss Ganne captured.

A week. My Master was killed a week ago.

My grief was gone, but the anger and fear still remained. I settled on the ground beneath me, sighing lightly as the Gungan guarding me shifted, watching me wearily. All I wanted to do was meditate.

_Obi-Wan should have arrived by now._

I sighed more heavily this time. Space travel was unpredictable at best, in my opinion. And Coruscant was a few hours away even through the best hyperlanes. But those would be heavily watched and they would have to sneak onto Naboo, not to mention finding a safe space to land all without being spotted.

I shifted and settled into a meditation pose, breathing in and out deeply and allowed myself to be consumed with the Force.

The Force surrounded me, seeping into my being. I felt the grass, the trees, the water, the soil. The Gungans flitting around were small specks in the vast universe. But the Force was all-present.

My concentration, grounded in the Force, turned to my emotions. The anger and fear were there, writhing, much like the Darksider's presence felt, though not as strong.

_This must be what Master Yoda meant_.

The anger pulsated, the more dangerous of the two at the moment. It burned in my gut, seething, waiting to lash out and destroy something, anything. I delved deeper, seeking the source.

I found the answer where I least expected it. Yes, I was angry with the Darksider for killing my Master. But there was something deeper, longer lasting. I examined myself, letting the Force flow through me.

There. It was there. The anger stemmed from a different feeling. Uselessness. Powerlessness. I did not want to leave my Master but I did. I was a coward for running. I should have stayed and fought, but instead I was useless, powerless.

My anger flared, trying to take over. I refused it the fuel it so desperately desired. Resisting the urge to quash it completely, I instead let it slowly dissipate. There was nothing I could have done. It's over now.

_But you should have done something_, a voice whispered in the back of my head, slimy, writhing, reeking of the Dark Side.

I gasped, lurching out of my trance-like state. I sat, heaving for breath as the Gungan guarding me looked on in interest. Of course he wouldn't know what I was going through, so I only spared him one glance.

I examined myself, looking for the emotions… There. The anger was still there, but it was simmering now, mere embers. It wouldn't flare up for awhile and I could address it with the help of a more accomplished Jedi than myself.

The fear, however… The fear had grown. It pricked at my hearts, tugged the back of my brain, swirled in my gut. It would encompass me if I couldn't address it sooner than later.

"Yousa, Jedi!" Captain Tarpals called, making his way towards me and my Gungan guard. "Yousa friends arrived."

I looked up at the friendly Gungan, eagerly awaiting news. But none came and Tarpals just offered me a good-natured shrug, assisting me to my feet.

"Mesa sorry for dis, but Boss Nass noden trustin' yousa," he said as he directed me to kneel with my hands on my head at the base of a statue where the center Gungan leader sat.

I knelt there for who knows how long, waiting for the Queen's party to arrive. Captain Tarpals had left at one point to retrieve them, and now he approached.

"Your Honor, Queen Amidala of the Naboo."

Another Gungan led the way, followed by the Queen and Captain Panaka. Looking past the Queen I saw Master Jinn, Obi-Wan, and a boy.

"Uh, h-heyo dadee, Big Boss Nass, Your Honor," the Gungan said with a little wave.

"Jar Jar Binks," Boss Nass replied, looking down disdainfully. "Who's da uss-en uthers?"

"I am Queen Amidala of the Naboo," the Queen responded. "I come before you in peace."

"Ah, Naboo biggen. Yousa bringen da Mackineeks. Yousa all bombad." With a dismissive wave of his hand, Boss Nass sent Captain Tarpals standing over me, spear at the ready.

"Mesa sorry," he whispered to me, raising the spear.

"Wait!" Obi-Wan called, stepping forward. "She is with us. Harming her will merely delay any hope you have of reclaiming your home."

"Obi-Wan," I heard Master Jinn hiss. "Stand down."

"Wesa hear what yousa haven to say," Boss Nass finally said. Tarpals sighed his relief, stepping back and patting me on the shoulder.

"We have searched you out because we wish to form an alliance," the Queen said, barely glancing my way.

"Your Honor," a handmaiden said, stepping forward. The Queen looked at her in panic. That was when I knew the handmaiden was the real Queen. A clever ruse, one most would never have thought of. She gave me a small reassuring smile before turning her attention back to Boss Nass. The Gungan leader tutted.

"Whosa dis?"

"I am Queen Amidala."

"Huh?" The Gungan beside her - Jar Jar Binks - reeled in shock.

"This is my decoy, my protection, my loyal bodyguard. I'm sorry for my deception, but it was necessary to protect myself." Obi-Wan and his Master exchanged smug looks. They had known. "Although we do not always agree, Your Honor, our two great societies have always lived in peace."

"Ah," Boss Nass said, interested in the turn of events.

"The Trade Federation has destroyed all that we have worked so hard to build. If we do not act quickly, all will be lost forever. I ask you to help us. No," the Queen knelt, nearly mirroring my pose. "I beg you to help us. We are your humble servants."

The Queen's party knelt with the Queen and Obi-Wan locked eyes with me as we waited for the Gungan leader to come to a decision.

_Are you alright?_ Obi-Wan's voice flooded my mind.

_I will be_, I responded. _Once we figure out what's going on_.

"Our fate is in your hands," the Queen finished. I smiled at her words. She was an eloquent speaker, able to turn the tide. A small shift in the Force alerted me to the power of her words.

"Mmm. Ha!" the Gungan leader began to laugh. "Yousa no tinken youse greater den da Gungans? Me-e-esa lika dis!" Obi-Wan broke our gaze to smile appraisingly at his Master, having also felt the shift in the Force before locking back onto me. "Maybe wesa bein friends."

The Gungans around us cheered and the Queen broke out into a relieved smile, standing. Obi-Wan hurried to his feet and rushed to my side as I sat back on my heels, finally lowering my arms from my head.

Obi-Wan crouched at my side and grabbed my hands, his gaze never wavering.

"You're alright," he said softly, smiling, breathing deeply. I smiled back at him, examining him as well.

"Your emotions are in conflict, Obi-Wan," I finally said as I shifted. Obi-Wan immediately stood and helped me up. "You are grateful, but you feel a small sense of frustration, anger, and confusion."

"Yes," he said with a sigh. "A lot has happened these past few days."

"This past week, you mean," I replied with a chuckle.

"This past week," Obi-Wan amended. "Perhaps we could mediate together and catch up."

"I have little of interest to say," I responded, allowing Obi-Wan to guide me toward the Queen's party. He shifted so that one of his hands was on the small of my back, the other still holding my hand. "But I have much to meditate on. I will need help to cleanse myself from emotion after this whole ordeal is over."

Obi-Wan's gaze flickered, his brow furrowing. I sensed concern beginning to grow so I released his hand and held mine up.

"I will be alright, Obi-Wan. With my Master's murder, I have flirted with the Dark side. I do not wish to repeat the episode, nor allow my emotions to grow."

"Yes, I felt them the last time we communicated. Anger, fear, a hint of grief," Obi-Wan whispered.

"I was able to cleanse myself of the grief, though it took a lot of effort. I am not used to doing it on my own." I smiled ruefully. "The anger I was able to almost completely eradicate on my own, but…"

"But what?" Obi-Wan asked. I hesitated to respond.

"Obi-Wan, Drinna, come along," Master Jinn called. "We're going to scout the surrounding area."

* * *

The boy, who I had learned was named Anakin Skywalker, hurried toward the speeder the Queen, Master Jinn, Obi-Wan, and myself were huddled around.

"They're here!"

"Good. They made it," the Queen said, looking over her shoulder. Three speeders flew over and parked nearby as Jar Jar Binks and Boss Nass walked over to us.

"Yousa doen grand," I heard the Gungan leader say, his arm around Jar Jar's shoulder. Jar Jar waved him aside. "Jar Jar bring uss-en and da Naboo together."

"Ah, no, no, no," Jar Jar protested half-heartedly. He was loving the praise. His Force-signature reeked of it.

"So, wesa make you bombad general."

"General?" There was a sound of collapsing and the Gungan leader began to laugh from behind us. I shook my head and snorted, not bothering to turn around.

"Captain," Master Jinn said softly.

"Your Highness," Captain Panaka bowed in deference to the Queen.

"What is the situation?" she asked.

"Almost everyone's in camps. A few hundred police and guards have formed an underground resistance movement. I brought back as many of the leaders as I could. The Federation army's also much larger than we thought, and much stronger." The Queen looked at the Captain in concern, and he turned to her. "Your Highness, this is a battle I do not think that we can win."

"The battle is a diversion," the Queen responded. "The Gungans must draw the droid army away from the cities. R2," the droid beeped in response and pulled up a map. "We can enter the city using the secret passages on the waterfall side." The map zoomed to show exactly what the Queen meant. "Once we get to the main entrance, Captain Panaka will create a diversion. Then we can enter the palace and capture the viceroy. Without the viceroy, they will be lost and confused," the Queen said, turning to Captain Panaka for approval and support. "What do you think, Master Jedi?" she asked, facing Master Jinn.

Master Jinn looked sceptical.

"The viceroy will be well-guarded," he finally returned.

"The difficulty is getting into the throne room," Captain Panaka said. "Once we're inside, we shouldn't have a problem."

"There is a possibility, with this diversion, many Gungans will be killed." Master Jinn turned to Boss Nass.

"Wesa ready to do our-san part," the Gungan leader said, saluting Obi-Wan's Master briefly.

"We have a plan which should immobilize the droid army. We will send what pilots we have to knock out the droid control ship orbiting the planet." Obi-Wan and I turned to see what Master Jinn's response would be.

"A well-conceived plan. However, there's great risk. The weapons on your fighters may not penetrate the shields."

"There's an even bigger danger," Obi-Wan cut in. "If the viceroy escapes, Your Highness, he will return with another droid army."

"Well, that is why we must not fail to get the viceroy," the Queen returned. "Everything depends on it." R2-D2 whistled his concern.

* * *

"Padawan Berrik," Master Jinn called. "I need to speak to you about the Darksider."

I froze in my tracks. Obi-Wan and Master Jinn jogged to my position and stopped beside me.

"I don't want to face him," I admitted softly. Obi-Wan frowned a little at that.

"Really?" Master Jinn asked.

"I knew you were going to ask me to be there with you when you face him, Master Jinn, but I can't."

"How-"

"I know you've sensed his presence in Theed Palace like I have, Master Jinn," I cut in. "But my emotions may very well overcome me and tempt me to turn to the Darkside to defeat the Dathomirian. I have eliminated my grief and nearly managed to get rid of my anger, but it is still there and I am afraid it will grow again if I have to face him."

"I am impressed," Master Jinn conceded. "Not many are as in tune with their emotions as you are."

"Not many have had to face the murder of their Master by an agent of the Dark side, Master Jinn," I returned. "I… I am afraid. I fear the Dark side and I fear the Zabrak. I fear I will once again be powerless to do anything." I took a deep, shuddering breath. "And because I fear I ask that you allow me to remain with the Queen to ensure Viceroy Gunray does not escape."

Master Jinn studied me for a moment, and I could sense Obi-Wan studying me as well, but I refused to look at him.

"Very well," Master Jinn said with a sigh. "If you feel it is best."

"I do," I replied firmly, knowing Obi-Wan would protest if I did not say something soon. "And I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to explain myself."

"Of course, Padawan Berrik. Please alert the Queen of our plan."

With a nod, I turned and ran to find the Queen. I could deal with Obi-Wan later.

* * *

Captain Panaka signaled as I stood beside the Queen. I sensed Master Jinn kneel next to Anakin as he began to speak lowly to the boy.

"Once we get inside, you find a safe place to hide and stay there."

"Sure," Anakin returned.

"Stay there." With that, Master Jinn stood and we watched a speeder and about a dozen guards begin to attack the unsuspecting droids.

As the guards fired on the droids, Queen Amidala moved out, Master Jinn, Obi-Wan, and myself drawing our lightsabers, protecting the rest of our party and the Queen.

Now inside the main hangar, Obi-Wan and I stepped in front of the Queen and began deflecting blaster fire while the Queen and Captain Panaka shot at the droids.

"Ani, find cover!" Master Jinn called to the young boy from Tatooine. "Quick!"

"Get to your ships!" the Queen commanded the pilots that had joined us. The decoy Queen led the way as many of the droids were quickly destroyed.

"My guess is the viceroy's in the throne room," the Queen said when all of the droids were destroyed.

"Red group! Blue group! Everybody, this way!" Captain Panaka called.

I faltered in my step as I felt something I hadn't felt as strongly since my Master was killed… the Darksider. His hatred, fear, anger pulsated, writhing and clawing at my gut and I nearly doubled over at the pain of it all. Obi-Wan stopped to steady me.

"Hey, wait for me!" little Anakin protested.

"Anakin, stay where you are. You'll be safe there," Master Jinn said.

"But I-"

"Stay in that cockpit." Obi-Wan and I walked side-by-side in silence as Master Jinn reprimanded the boy.

The main hangar doors suddenly opened. My feeling only grew and I knew I had been correct.

It was the Darksider.

The Nabooian guards, handmaidens, and Queen stopped in their tracks at the sight as Master Jinn, Obi-Wan, and I made our way to the front.

"We'll handle this," Master Jinn said. "Stick to the plan, Padawan Berrik."

The Darksider smirked as he stared me down. I gulped, frozen to the spot with fear. He knew exactly what he'd done.

_You're next, after I deal with these two_, his voice whispered through the Force. I shuddered.

Obi-Wan noticed and grabbed my hand, giving it a light squeeze as he, too, stared down the Darksider.

"We'll take the long way," the Queen said, grabbing my hand and tugging me away from the comforting presence of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I glanced back, unable to tear my gaze from the Darksider as he removed his hood. His skin was red, unlike an Iridonian Zabrak. His black tattoos were unlike anything I had seen, and they reeked of darkness.

The three Force-wielders face off, removing their outer robes.

A metallic whirring distracted me from the ultimate confrontation. Destroyers.

They shot at our group, quickly pulling up their shields so I couldn't destroy them by dropping something on top of them this time. I moved in front of the Queen, deflecting the shots away from her.

A sudden hum distracted me and I looked over towards Obi-Wan. My fear was making me jumpy. The Darksider had activated his double-bladed lightsaber and I froze.

_Go, Drinna!_ My Master's voice seemed to echo through the Force, her last words to me.

I suppressed a yell as one of the destroyers took advantage of my distractedness and managed to hit me in the leg. I nearly collapsed, grabbing my leg with the arm not holding my lightsaber.

I heard the hum of two familiar lightsabers join the fray and felt the Force ripple slightly whenever one of the three used it to attack.

The Queen and I watched in shock as another spaceship entered the fight, destroying the destroyers with ease. I started to chuckle, then winced as I felt the pain in my leg and briefly examined it.

The bolt had grazed me, still hitting deep enough that it hurt. Most of it was cauterized by the laser beam, but the remaining part was bleeding, stinging as it was exposed to the air.

"Let's go!" the Queen commanded from behind me, quickly moving to stand beside me. I quickly stood, pretending I wasn't in pain. I could deal with it later.

The ship left the hangar just as we opened the doors to the palace.

As we ran through the corridors, a sudden blast rang out and I quickly deflected it as the group behind me ran behind the pillars.

"We don't have time for this, Captain," the Queen said from behind me. I grunted my agreement, the Force flowing through me and showing me seconds before each shot hit.

A moment later, Captain Panaka shot at the window to my right, making me flinch as some of the glass landed nearby.

"Go!" he shouted. "Ascension guns!" I deflected one last bolt and joined the Queen, clipping my lightsaber to my belt and accepting one of the guns from a nearby guard.

We fired upward and I held on tight. I did not like heights.

At the next window we paused and unclipped our guns. I handed mine to a guard and unclipped my lightsaber from my belt, standing back as the Queen and Captain Panaka shot the window. I was the first to step in, reaching out with the Force to see if there were any droids nearby. There weren't.

And then the destroyers came, surrounding us on all sides. I stopped, knowing I couldn't defeat all of them. The Queen saw my gaze flicker uncertainly and ordered a surrender.

"Put down your weapons. They win this round."

The Queen led by putting her gun down and Captain Panaka followed. I reluctantly set my lightsaber on the ground beside the Queen's gun.

Strangely enough, the droids led us directly to our destination.

"Your little insurrection is at an end, Your Highness," Gunray said. "Time for you to sign the treaty and end this pointless debate in the Senate."

"Viceroy!" It was one of the handmaidens, disguised at the Queen. "Your occupation here has ended."

"After her," the viceroy shouted, pointing at the faux Queen. "This one's a decoy."

Most of the droids left the room, chasing after the new group. Queen Amidala hurried to her throne and opened a secret compartment in one of the arm rests, pulling out guns and throwing them to the guards.

"Captain!" she called, throwing one to Panaka. I quickly turned on the spot and pulled my lightsaber from one of the retreating droids and lighting it.

The two Neimoidians turned to each other in panic, only able to watch as Captain Panaka, the Queen, and I destroyed the remaining droids.

"Jam the doors," Captain Panaka called as the guards regained their weapons. I circled behind the viceroy, my lightsaber still humming. He would not escape.

"Now, Viceroy," the Queen said as the guards fell into formation, circling around the two. "We will discuss a new treaty."

We had won.

* * *

**A/N: Aaaaand I'm back. Okay. I know I said I'd see you all soon, but I just got Disney+ yesterday (so grateful!) and I finished binging Mandalorian and let me tell you. I'm impressed. The deep-rooted Mandalorian culture is amazing and Baby Yoda? Love him! I can't wait to find out more because, by my estimations, Baby Yoda was born about nine years before the events of Episode 1, so I'm curious to find out more. Was Baby Yoda found by the Jedi? What about the whole Yoda species? How the heck does that work?**

**Happy holidays, all!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Aaaaand we're back! Hey, all! I totally forgot, but disclaimer time! I only own Drinna Berrik and Kyla Lergo. Everything else belongs to Lucasfilm and Disney and whoever else owns Star Wars, these days.**

**Last time, Drinna and the rest of the Queen's party (including Obi-Wan) met back up at the Gungan's sacred place. Now, we get onto the real deal, I suppose.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

As the Queen and Gunray argued, I allowed myself to deactivate my lightsaber, returning it to my belt and circling around to stare out the window. The Force would alert me if anything was wrong.

Soon enough, the Viceroy was being escorted out of the room. I turned to watch him go, giving a good-natured nod to the Queen.

I paused, sensing something far below me. A brief moment of pain erupted in my stomach and I doubled over, clutching a chair.

"Padawan Berrik!" the Queen called, rushing to my side. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head, closing my eyes and delving deeper into my senses, allowing the Force to wash over me.

Anger. Grief. Both from Obi-Wan.

Pain. Calm. From Master Jinn. He was the one who was hurt.

_Obi-Wan, do not give in to your anger_, I thought at him. The message was never received. He had been blinded.

Obi-Wan's normally calm presence was disrupted by the slimy, writhing sensation I had felt within myself briefly after my Master's death. It was the Dark side, growing stronger with each stroke Obi-Wan led against the Darksider.

But he was not strong enough to kill the Darksider, and I felt Obi-Wan begin to panic.

_Calm yourself, Obi-Wan!_ I cried. _Do not let the Dark side win! Remember who you are. You are a Jedi. Do not disappoint your Master by seeking revenge._

Obi-Wan's anger melted away as he tried to regain his sense of calm. I sent him some of my energy, sinking to the ground in the process.

Obi-Wan was calmer now, though I could still sense that something was wrong. Master Jinn's presence in the Force was… fading.

I struggled to my feet. Obi-Wan and Master Jinn needed my help.

"Padawan Berrik, where are you going?" the Queen asked, trying to stop me from leaving.

"To find Master Jinn. Something is wrong. If you see the Jedi, alert them of the situation," I begged.

"Alert them yourself, Padawan Berrik," a deep voice joined. I whirled around to see Master Windu, his purple blade lighted and his gaze sweeping the room.

"Master Windu," I began.

"Where is Qui-Gon Jinn?" he asked, lowering his blade.

"I don't know," I responded, shaking my head. I was exhausted and my grip on the Force was weakening. "Last I saw they were in the main hangar, battling the Darksider."

"Why aren't you with them?" Master Windu asked, raising one brow.

I lowered my gaze, gripping my leg. It burned.

"I did not want my fear to consume me, Master Windu. My anger still lingers from my Master's death and I was afraid it would grow again. I managed to rid myself of grief, and I nearly got rid of the anger, but I felt this dark presence and it shocked me out of my meditation."

"Hmm," Master Windu said. "Very well. We will discuss this later. I assume Viceroy Gunray is in your custody, Queen Amidala?"

"Yes, Master Jedi," the Queen replied, stepping to my side as I hissed. "Padawan Berrik was key to his capture. We're very proud of her."

"Thank you, Your Highness," I murmured, squeezing my eyes shut against the pain.

"You're injured." Master Windu hadn't made it a question, rather a statement.

"Yes, Master Windu," I said softly. "I was distracted by my fear. I remembered… remembered my Master's last words to me, seeing the red lightsaber of the Darksider."

"Hmm," Master Windu said again. "We had best find Jinn and his apprentice. Get that leg checked out. When we find them, we will alert you."

* * *

The medic's wing in Theed Palace was silent. It would have been the perfect time to meditate, but Master Windu had made me promise to wait for help.

So I waited.

The door opened silently, and I turned my head to see who had arrived.

It was Obi-Wan, head downcast. His presence was muted, grief-stricken.

"Obi-Wan," I called softly. His gaze snapped to mine and he stared at me for a moment, his eyes rimmed red. I sent a small smile his way and he rushed toward me, enveloping me in a hug.

"Drinna," he sobbed into my shoulder. "Drinna it hurts."

"I know," I whispered back. "I know it hurts. It stabs at your heart, claws and tries to draw blood, but you can't let it. The Force has a will of its own. Take a deep breath with me." I tried to draw back, but Obi-Wan clung tighter to me. "Obi-Wan. You need to let go." I wasn't sure if I meant his hold on me or his grief for Master Jinn.

"I couldn't save him," he hiccuped. "I was stuck behind the energy shield while Master Jinn fought the Darksider. I watched it… I watched it happen."

"I know," I murmured. "I felt it. Breathe, Obi-Wan. It's okay to feel, but you can't let it consume you."

We sat there like that for an hour.

* * *

"Now, Viceroy," the Queen said. Obi-Wan and I stood off to her side with Anakin. "You're going to have to go back to the Senate and explain all this."

Captain Panaka stepped forward.

"I think you can kiss your trade franchise good-bye." I held back a laugh. Panaka certainly had a way with words. There was a reason he wasn't Queen of Naboo, after all.

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and I followed Captain Panaka, escorting the two Neimoidians to their new home.

Obi-Wan and Anakin stopped before a man I recognized as Senator Palpatine, bowing low. I stood there silently, confused.

"We are indebted to you for your bravery, Obi-Wan Kenobi," Senator Palpatine said, not sparing me a second glance. "And you, young Skywalker."

"Drinna helped, too!" the young boy said, pointing to me. "She's been here the longest." I smiled at the boy, though it didn't reach my eyes.

"Yes," Senator Palpatine said simply, his gaze boring deep into mine. I shuddered involuntarily. Something… dark was swirling behind that gaze. But the moment I felt it, it was gone. The Senator's gaze narrowed briefly before returning to Anakin.

"We will watch your career with great interest." The Senator patted Anakin on the shoulder and moved past us toward the Queen.

"Are those the Chancellor's guards?" I whispered to Obi-Wan. He chuckled and nodded.

"I forgot that we hadn't caught up yet. Senator Palpatine is now the Supreme Chancellor."

"How convenient," I muttered.

"Yes, but he was voted in by the full Senate."

"Hmm."

Master Windu, Master Mundi, Master Koon, Master Koth, Master Tiin, Master Gallia, Master Billaba, Master Piell, and Master Yoda approached and Obi-Wan, Anakin, and I bowed low, turning to follow them.

"Congratulations on your election, Chancellor," I heard the Queen say.

"Your boldness has saved our people, Your Majesty," the Chancellor returned. "It's you who should be congratulated. Together we shall bring peace and prosperity to the Republic."

* * *

I waited patiently outside while Master Yoda and Obi-Wan met. It would be my turn next.

Obi-Wan opened the door slowly, shutting it behind him.

"Well?" I asked.

"I've been Knighted by the Council," he said with a small, rueful smile. "And Anakin is to be my Padawan learner."

"Do you really think he is the Chosen One?" I asked, moving a step closer. He was still nearly a head taller than me, I realized as I looked up at him.

"I do," he said simply, gazing down on me with a soft smile on his face. He reached out and grabbed my hand. "I really do, and I believe he will go on to do great things. Now go," he said, dropping my hand and stepping back. "Master Yoda is expecting you."

"Yes, Mister Jedi Knight," I teased, smiling back at him as I went to the door. I heard him chuckle lowly as he turned and walked away.

I hesitated at the door. Obi-Wan had been Knighted. But I knew deep within me that I would not be. I still carried too much fear.

"Enter, you must," Master Yoda called from within the room as I held the door. I smiled briefly and shut the door behind me. "Sit, sit!"

I sat before Master Yoda, my legs crossed.

"How feel you?" Master Yoda asked, stopping his pacing before me.

"My leg is much better, Master Yoda. But I sense there is a deeper meaning behind your question."

The wise Jedi sighed, nodding.

"Much, you have learned." I smiled.

"Yes. I am more in tune with my emotions than I was as a hot-headed Initiate. But I still have much to learn, which is why I will not be Knighted as Obi-Wan was. His Trials were waived under the special circumstances, weren't they?"

"Yes," Master Yoda said with another sigh. "Perceptive, you are. Busy I am. Take another apprentice, I cannot. Assigned to Master Windu, you are."

"Thank you, Master Yoda," I said, making to stand.

"Wait! Wait! Patience, youngling." I sat back slowly. "Fear you feel. Why?" Understanding dawned on me.

"The Dark side is powerful, Master. After the Darksider killed Master Lergo, I was afraid for my life. I was afraid he would hunt me down and kill me as well. He came for me at Otoh Gunga. I was afraid my anger and grief would consume me and I would have to leave the life I have always known behind. I was afraid to be alone, without the guidance of my Master," I said, breathing deeply, my eyes closed as I dug deeper. With a sigh, I realized my fear was dissipating.

"Hmm," Master Yoda said. I cracked my eyes open to notice he had joined me in my meditation. "Well, you have done without help. Let go, you have, of your grief. Your fear, gone it is. Disrupted, your anger has been. Gone it should be."

"Yes, Master. Thank you for your help." I stood and left.

* * *

The night was solemn. The Jedi, Gungans, and senators around me were silent as we watched Master Jinn's body go up in flames. The traditional Jedi burial was silent save for the crackling of the flames.

My Master's body had yet to be recovered.

But now, Qui-Gon Jinn and Kyla Lergo were one with the Force.

"You will be a Jedi, I promise," I heard Obi-Wan say to Anakin. I looked at the former Padawan and offered a brief smile. He returned it before looking back at his Master's body.

Obi-Wan's hand brushed mine and I grabbed it, giving it a squeeze, letting him know I was there. He took it gratefully, his thumb brushing over my knuckles as he stared, his grief muted, at the flames.

* * *

The celebrations lasted nearly a week. We had all been given the chance to freshen up, and Padme, as I came to know Queen Amidala, had even offered me one of her dresses to wear to the final peace celebration. I politely declined, opting to wear my Jedi robes.

I stood beside Obi-Wan, his Padawan braid now gone. Little Anakin stood beside him dutifully in full Padawan garb, minus the lightsaber. He would create his soon enough.

Governor Bibble stood on my left, holding the Globe of Peace to give to the Queen. The Gungans played a joyful tune, and I found myself smiling despite my lingering grief.

Boss Nass, Captain Tarpals, and Jar Jar climbed the stairs to greet the Queen as she stepped forward, taking the Globe of Peace from Governor Bibble. She handed it to Boss Nass, who accepted it with a bow, turning to face the Naboo as he held it aloft.

"Peace!"

The crowd cheered, and my smile grew. We had actually done it.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I got the idea for this chapter from** post/144318455203/ialreadyreadthatfanfic-dreamer-wisher-liar

**I thought it was interesting to see how the series could change if Anakin's fears were addressed, so I thought I'd play around with it and see where the story goes. Enjoy!**

**Also, Happy New Year! 2020 better be great!**

* * *

_Three years later…._

* * *

The hum my lightsaber clashing against Master Windu's filled my ears.

He pushed me back with the Force, maintaining his grip on his lightsaber effortlessly. I stumbled in my step, regaining it almost instantly.

"Good," Master Windu said, circling me. I mirrored him, watching him like a hawk, waiting for him to move.

Master Windu moved left. The Force let me know this was a feint and I instead thrust my blade to the right. Master Windu had to jump to the side to avoid the slash.

"Hmm. Really good."

We stood there for a minute before Master Windu deactivated his lightsaber, gesturing for me to do the same.

"Well, you've certainly grown over the last three years," Master Windu said, folding his arms. "I think you're ready for a little something more."

"What more is there, Master Windu?" I asked. I thought he had taught me everything.

"A little something I like to call… shatterpoint."

* * *

I took a deep breath, settling myself on the meditation mat. Master Windu had instructed me to focus on my connection with the Force before we began learning about this new ability.

I swept the thought aside, filing it away for further study, if I desired.

Exhaling, I let the Force flow through me and guide me.

It began in my core. My emotions were in check, pure. My body was rested, prepared to face the day. The Force was flowing steadily through me like a river.

I reached further.

The younglings were training, their Force signatures small, but powerful. They flowed as one, bumbling occasionally. Master Yoda was with them, watching with amusement and fondness.

The Initiates were bustling in one of the training rooms, their emotions flaring and dying. They were more powerful, but still growing.

A presence approached the meditation room. Comforting, peaceful. Familiar.

The door slid open with a hiss, something I could focus on as I drew myself out of my mediation.

"Obi-Wan!" I called, smiling up at the Jedi Knight. He smiled at me and gestured to the ground beside me.

"May I?"

"Of course," I responded. "How go things with your Padawan?" Obi-Wan sighed.

"We just returned from Carnelion IV. He… wanted to leave the Order."

"What?" I turned to Obi-Wan in shock. "But-"

"I know. I don't know how it happened, but one minute he was impressing everyone with his lightsaber skills and the next he was wanting to leave the Order."

"Did he talk to someone before he said that?" I asked. "Young ones are often impressionable, especially at twelve."

"Well, yes, he did. But I doubt the Chancellor had anything-"

"Palpatine?" I asked, looking wearily at my oldest friend. "He seems to be very… _close_ to Anakin, don't you think. A little too close."

"It's fine, Drinna," Obi-Wan responded, shaking his head at me. "Anakin doesn't want to leave the Order anymore."

"I'm relieved to hear it. Though do be careful around the Chancellor. I don't trust him," I muttered.

"You only don't trust him because you haven't formally met him yet," Obi-Wan said with a laugh. I smiled, though it didn't reach my eyes.

"I sense something… odd about him. I can't put my finger on it, but until I do I refuse to trust him."

"You Zabraks and your stubbornness," Obi-Wan returned, standing. He strode around the room, stroking his chin. "But what to do about Anakin?"

"What is it this time?" I asked, leaning forward, over my feet.

"He is still attached to his mother. He fears losing her." Obi-Wan turned to me, spreading his hands in a helpless gesture. "I just don't know what to do with him!"

"Why don't you let me talk to him," I responded with a rueful smile. "I happen to know quite a bit about letting go of fear."

"Yes, I suppose you do," Obi-Wan chuckled. "Very well. When would you like to meet him?"

"Oh, I'm at the Creche in an hour. Could he join me there?"

"Of course."

* * *

The younglings in the Bear Clan bumbled about, still getting used to the Force. They weren't causing as many problems as some of the newly-found younglings, but these ones still were out of control.

"Drinna!" a voice called from behind me. I turned to smile at the newcomer.

"Anakin," I responded with a slight bow of my head. "It's good to see you."

"You as well," Anakin said with a smile. "Master Kenobi said you wanted to meet me here?"

"Yes," I replied, turning back to watch the younglings. There were fourteen of them, ranging in age and species. "I've volunteered to help watch the Bear Clan. I thought it might be good for you to join me."

"Oh." The disappointment in Anakin's voice was clear. I held back a smile. It was only a matter of time before Anakin was begging to be here.

* * *

"If you don't mind my asking," Anakin said after we had rounded up a few of the more rambunctious younglings, "Why haven't you been Knighted yet?"

A few of the younglings stopped playing and turned to watch the encounter. I sighed, sitting down and setting Ashla on my lap. The young togruta smiled up at me, grabbing onto one of my fingers.

"Well, Anakin, I guess I just wasn't ready to face the Trials," I began.

"But you're as old as Obi-Wan!" Anakin protested, sitting down with a huff. "And wasn't he a little old to not be facing the Trials?"

I chuckled, bopping Ashla on the nose as she giggled, staring up at me with wide eyes.

"Each Jedi faces the Trials when they are ready. After the death of my Master, I knew that, unlike Obi-Wan, I was not ready. I still had much to learn with my given abilities and-"

"What are your abilities?" Anakin asked, schooching closer.

"I… am extremely in tune with the Force, Anakin," I began slowly. "More so than many. I'm what's called a Force Empath. I feel emotions deeply and I have to work a lot harder to rid myself of detrimental emotions. When my Master died, I felt a lot of grief and anger, but I was mostly afraid."

"You?" Anakin scoffed. "Afraid?" I smiled at him.

"Did you notice my injury during the fight in the hangar?" I asked, gesturing to my leg. "I froze in fear when I heard the Sith's lightsaber hum on. The red… there were echoes in my mind of my Master's death, even though I wasn't there to see it, I still felt it through our bond."

Anakin tried to smile as he looked at the ground but didn't succeed. He was thoughtful… I recognized. Concerned. Afraid.

"What are you afraid of?" I asked softly, letting Ashla go tottering over to Anakin. He looked at her for a moment before picking her up and setting her on his lap, smiling softly down at her.

"I'm not afraid of anything," Anakin said defiantly. "One day I'm going to be known as the Hero with No Fear!"

I chuckled, letting my hands rest in my lap as Jempa rushed to me with outstretched arms. I scooped him up and tickled him for a moment before letting him sit in my lap.

"Anakin, everyone is afraid of something. And that's okay. Fear… is a strange emotion. It's always going to be there. It just changes and diminishes. Some people are afraid of one thing their whole lives. But they learn to control their fear and change it to work for them. That's real courage, Anakin."

Anakin scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"I mean it, Anakin," I said sternly. "And I need you to listen. What I said before, about being a Force Empath, means I've had to study every emotion I've felt. That means the emotions I feel from other people. I've learned a lot about fear, and what Master Yoda says about it being the path to the Dark side is true. _If_ you let it consume you. The job of a Jedi is to learn to let go."

Anakin shifted, nearly imperceptible, in his position and watched Ashla leave to go play with Chian. He looked after her wistfully. His emotions were strong in that instant.

_Oh. That's what he's afraid of_.

"Anakin," I said softly, bouncing Jempa in my lap. "Did I ever tell you what I'm most afraid of?"

"No-o," he replied uncertainly.

"Well, I'm terrified of heights, did you know that?" Anakin shook his head as I chuckled. "Yeah, I know. A Padawan who can Force jump with no problems whatsoever and has had to jump from exploding buildings and droid-infested hangars on Naboo is afraid of heights. But it's actually quite common. I just hate that feeling in your gut when you fall, like there's an emptiness in there and you're going to go splat if you step away from solid ground. I hate it," I said with a laugh.

"Obi-Wan… sorry, Master Kenobi-"

"You can call him Obi-Wan," I said. "I do."

"Obi-Wan hates my flying."

"Yes," I said with a chuckle. "That's something he's afraid of… but it goes deeper than that. He's afraid of uncertainty. He's getting better, if you haven't noticed, but he still doesn't trust things he can't quite control."

"Yeah," Anakin said with a laugh. "I guess he does."

"Well, anyways, my fear of falling and heights… it's always been there. I guess I must have been dropped as a baby or something, but I've always struggled with it. And I probably always will, but I'm learning how to control it and cope with it. And you, Anakin, can do the same."

"But I'm not scared of heights!" Anakin protested. I laughed as Jempa left my lap and stumbled away to his friends.

"I know. But you are scared of something. What is it?" I prompted, though I already knew the answer.

"I guess… I'm scared of losing my mom," he whispered.

"Here," I said, moving to sit beside him. "Copy me real quick." I sat in my meditation pose, feeling through the Force as Anakin struggled to copy me. I opened my eyes and smiled at him. "Is it okay if I move you so you'll be more comfortable?" I asked. Anakin nodded and I set to work.

When I was finally done, I sat across from him.

"Alright, Anakin. I want you to close your eyes and reach out to the Force in a moment. I'm going to do the same, but instead of examining myself, I'm going to help you examine… you." Anakin opened his eyes in confusion. "I know, it sounds weird at first, but I promise this will help."

Anakin shrugged as I settled myself and closed my eyes.

"When I was younger, I would often be overwhelmed with emotions, even here in the Temple. I had to have specialized training to control myself, otherwise I would break something in my panic. When I was assigned to Master Lergo, she and I perfected the technique. I call it examining myself, and it is, just not physically. I reach out with the Force and look at my emotions, find the different feelings and delve deep into them one by one to find the source… and then I let go."

"That sounds like a lot of work."

"It is," I said with a chuckle, opening my eyes to peer at the curious Padawan before me. "The first time I did it on my own I was so exhausted that I couldn't move for three hours and when I was retrieved, I fell down about ten times before I could even attempt to move."

Anakin looked at me in panic and I merely smiled.

"Of course, you won't ever have it that bad. It's just a lot of mental exertion and it takes practice, but because you aren't a Force Empath, you won't have to worry about it as much as I do. But it's still a helpful skill to learn."

"Okay," Anakin said, closing his eyes. "When do we start?" I chuckled again.

"Have a little patience," I murmured. "We can start now."

I reached out in the Force, feeling myself and the younglings around me. The Force connected us all.

"Reach out with the Force, Anakin. Feel the room," I said. Mari came and sat by me, playing with my robes, but ultimately curious.

"It's kind of hard when the younglings are curious," Anakin said, frustration sounding in his voice.

"It's a momentary distraction," I countered. "Let go. The Force flows through all of us. Feel it and let it guide you. The younglings will settle down."

I paused a moment, reaching out to the younglings and impressing on them the importance of what Anakin and I were doing. I finally felt a tug through the Force from Anakin.

"Well done. You've successfully found me," I said wryly. "Now turn back and focus on yourself."

The small tug disappeared and I let my conscience wander towards Anakin. He was struggling to bring the focus back to himself with Jempa tugging at his Padawan braid. I smiled, but reached out and pulled Jempa into my lap with the Force.

"Patience, little one. You can play with my braid later," I murmured to the Whiphid.

With the distraction gone, Anakin was able to focus the Force on himself. I reached out again, feeling as he hesitated.

"What do you feel, Anakin?" I prompted. Immediately, Anakin's focus was on his emotions, laser-like.

"I feel… relaxed. Happy. I enjoy being around the younglings," he responded. I smiled at his words.

"The younglings do tend to do that to people," I replied gently. "And you're doing good so far. What else do you feel?"

There was a slight pause as Anakin delved deeper, brushing aside his other feelings for the moment. I felt a shift in the Force as Anakin frowned.

"Cold."

My eyes flew open as I observed Anakin, standing from my position in a rush. Jempa pouted on the floor.

"Anakin…" I began.

"It's so cold," he muttered, his frown deepening. "I want to go home."

I didn't respond. I didn't know what to do.

"I want to go home!" Anakin said, his voice rising. "Let me go home!"

I lifted the younglings with the Force and pushed them away in case things escalated and approached Anakin slowly. True to his words, Anakin was shaking.

"Anakin, why do you feel cold?" I whispered.

"I don't want to lose…" he whimpered. "I miss her. I miss home."

I sat so that our knees were touching and frowned at the Padawan before me. A small nudge from the Force sent me grasping Anakin's head in my hands. He gasped at the sudden contact.

_Anakin was older now, though he still had his Padawan braid. He had a blue lightsaber ignited in his hands, fury etched on his face. His fear had come true. His mother was dead._

_And his eyes were a blazing yellow, like the tales I'd heard of the Sith. The eyes matched the Sith's, the one who had killed my Master. The one who wanted to kill me._

_Anakin slaughtered the creatures who had killed his mother, not resting until they were all dead._

I gasped, lurching back from Anakin. His fear was all-consuming. I shivered, the temperature in the room seeming to drop.

"Anakin," I murmured. "Anakin, snap out of it."

The younglings had retreated back into their rooms, away from Anakin and myself.

Tentatively, I reached out and grasped Anakin's head again, delving into the Force to give me strength.

Colors flashed before my eyes, and I squeezed them shut against the onslaught. Pain. Thousands of people in pain and grief. Death cries echoed in my ears.

The Force offered me reprieve by showing me how to look deeper into Anakin's heart.

_Anakin_, I called through the Force. _Anakin, focus. Follow the Force. Trust it and let it guide you. We can figure this out._

Anakin was calming now, his fear shrinking back into his heart. I grasped it with the Force and felt as Anakin joined me in examining it.

_Look at it, Anakin. You've let it grow,_ I murmured. _You've let it consume you._

_Get out of my head._

_Anakin, let me help you!_ I pleaded. _Look. You're afraid of losing the things you love. You're afraid of being alone, but you don't have to be! The Force led me to ask Obi-Wan to let me talk to you here about leaving the Order. Being in the Creche will help you learn to let go of your attachments. It will teach you that it's okay to lose the things you love. But you have to give the Force a chance to show you._

_Okay._ The reply was merely a sniffle, a whimper, but it was enough. Slowly, so as not to disorient the boy, I showed Anakin the way back to reality.

Anakin sniffled, curling up into a ball on the hard floor, his knees to his chest.

"I feel so empty and cold," he sobbed. I crawled around behind him and held him to my chest, and made soothing gestures.

"I know," I murmured. "I feel it. You're still so afraid. And that's okay. You are so brave, Anakin," I said, kissing him on the forehead. "You've already faced so much fear these past three years. And look at where you are! You're on your way to fulfilling your dreams, to becoming a Jedi Knight. With the progress you're making, you might even get Knighted before I will."

Anakin chuckled through his tears.

"I doubt it," he replied.

"Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a little bit, but I promise you can overcome this. I'll help you if you want." Anakin nodded vigorously against me, knocking his head into my chin a couple of times. I winced, but smiled down at him, kissing his head again. "You'll be okay."

We sat there for a minute as Anakin calmed down. The younglings were starting to come back out and begin to play, though they were still giving us some odd glances. Ashla came and sat next to me, playing with the hem of my robe.

"Anakin," I said, drawing back. Anakin tried to cling tighter to me. I sighed. This would be hard. "Anakin, you need to let go."

Sniffling, Anakin nodded and slowly let go of my arm.

"Good job, Anakin," I said softly. "You're one step closer to letting go of your fear. It's going to take time, but you _can_ do this."

"Thank you for helping me," Anakin sniffled, rubbing his eyes.

"Of course," I responded, smiling at the boy and pulling Ashla into my lap. "Anakin, fear never really goes away. And that's okay. It's _okay_ to be scared sometimes, but if you let it paralyze you like I did back on Naboo, you'll never grow. And, if you really are going to be the Hero with No Fear, you need to learn how to control that fear and let it work for you. That takes practice and a whole lot of effort, but every step you take on that path will bring you closer to your goal."

I handed Ashla over to Anakin and let him play with her. Our time in the Creche was almost over for the day, so I went about observing the younglings and let Anakin think things over. He would come to his own decision. And I would respect it.

* * *

"Anakin, time to go," I called when I sensed Obi-Wan drawing near. "Obi-Wan is on his way."

Anakin got up, albeit reluctantly. He had enjoyed his time in the Creche, I sensed. I sent a small smile his way as he rubbed his arm awkwardly.

"Do we have to?"

"Yes, Anakin," I said softly. "It's okay to miss her."

Anakin looked up sharply and stared at me, eyes narrow.

"You mean _them_," he said.

"That's what I said, isn't it?" I asked, beginning to walk away to hide the smile growing on my face. Anakin hurried to catch up. "So, have you thought about what I've said?" Anakin nodded.

"Yes. I think it would be nice to not be afraid constantly." I faltered in my step briefly, though I covered it quickly and I don't think Anakin noticed. "Will you… help me?"

"Of course!" I replied, letting my smile show. "I would be honored. We can meet once a week here the Creche and work on it. It'll be a good learning experience for the younglings as well."

"Can't we come more often than that?" Anakin pleaded.

"No, Anakin. The other Jedi need to teach the younglings, too, and prepare them to become Padawans. We can't be with them all the time. It's learning to love from far away but not worrying."

"I thought Jedi weren't allowed to love," Anakin said. I sighed.

"I think there are some things that need to be considered from multiple angles," I said slowly. "Love… is one of them. There are different types." Anakin looked at me curiously. "But we can discuss that in our next session. It's a complicated matter, to say the least. Perhaps more complicated and powerful than fear. But I think that would also be beneficial, so if you want to talk about that next week, we can."

"Alright. Can I think about it?" Anakin asked.

"Of course. Don't hesitate to ask me questions. If you need more time, let me know, too. I'm here to be your friend and help you."

"Thank you, Drinna," Anakin said, just as the doors opened and Obi-Wan came in, smiling serenely.

"Wow," Obi-Wan joked. "Anakin Skywalker thanking someone. I never thought I'd live to see the day." Anakin sulked, but smiled good-naturedly. "Drinna, it's lovely to see you again."

"We saw each other not three hours ago, Obi-Wan!" I replied with a laugh.

"Ah, but every moment in your presence is one that I am blessed to have," Obi-Wan replied, bowing low with a flourish. I rolled my eyes, but smiled.

"Eww," I heard Anakin mutter. Obi-Wan and I exchanged looks and burst out laughing while I ruffled Anakin's hair.

"Don't ever change, Anakin," I responded, kissing his hair. Obi-Wan's smile diminished and he sent me a pointed look. My breath hitched as I realized my… mistake and I looked away, letting go of Anakin slowly.

_We'll talk later,_ I told Obi-Wan through the Force. _I learned a lot about your Padawan._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, so I know I already posted a chapter today, but it snowed at my house and I built a snow D-O and so now I'm really happy.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Obi-Wan paced back and forth as I sat on my bed.

"Obi-Wan, all I'm saying is Anakin needs to learn to let go of his fear. He-"

"Oh, I know he has a lot of fear, Drinna, but what I don't understand is why you let him attempt to rid himself of it on his own! You should have known better!" Obi-Wan said, exasperated. He threw his hands in the air and turned to face me.

"Some people hide their fear deep, Obi-Wan. You know this! Anakin needed to see that, too. I didn't think it would be so deeply rooted in his core! You know how hard it is going to be, which is why I need to keep doing this with him. Obi-Wan, please," I pleaded. "If he really is the Chosen One, he needs to bring balance to the galaxy. But if he doesn't have balance within himself, that won't be possible."

Obi-Wan began his pacing again, slower this time. I sighed and looked at my hands. Obi-Wan could be so stubborn sometimes.

Obi-Wan sighed and stopped pacing.

"Alright," he said softly, moving to sit by me. "You can continue working with Anakin, but I'd like to be there, too. I am his teacher, after all," he said wryly.

"I know, Obi-Wan. Which is why I wanted to pitch the idea to you before I got any farther. You know I would have gone along with it regardless of your approval, but I wanted to let you know what I thought."

Obi-Wan huffed and shook his head, smiling at me gently.

"I appreciate the thought," Obi-Wan said. I chuckled. "Though I hope next time you won't put the younglings in danger like that."

"I had it under control!" I protested. "Except for… nevermind."

"Except for what, Drinna?" Obi-Wan asked, scooching closer. "Drinna, what happened?"

I opened my mouth and closed it, shaking my head. I refused to look at Obi-Wan. If I did, I would spill. I had seen something and I didn't want it to come true.

"Drinna, I need you to tell me, especially if it is about Anakin." When I didn't respond, Obi-Wan reached out and gently grabbed my chin. "Drinna, please," he whispered, pulling my head gently to face his.

His eyes were locked on mine, searching. They shone with a… light. Comforting. I hadn't noticed their color before… a beautiful gray-blue.

_Beautiful?_

"Alright," I replied, merely a whisper, shaking my head to get rid of the thought. "But it'd be easier to show you."

Obi-Wan nodded and took my hands, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. I sat there for a moment, just looking at him. His auburn hair had been slightly mussed in his distress. He'd been growing it out for some time now, and it was at a nice length. He had grown a beard, too, which was much different from when we were both Padawans.

Now I was the only one that was a Padawan, at twenty-three.

Of course, Obi-Wan had been twenty-five when he became a Knight, but it still felt odd to not be on the same level as him. To know that he was… no. I wouldn't be jealous. That was not the way of the Jedi.

"When you're done staring," Obi-Wan said, smirking. "You were going to show me something?"

"Right!" I cried, giving his hands a squeeze. I took a deep, calming breath and focused, allowing the Force to flow through me. I felt it connecting Obi-Wan and myself and I reveled in the calm that Obi-Wan exuded.

Drawing upon my memory, I allowed it to show through Obi-Wan's open mind.

_Anakin was older now, though he still had his Padawan braid. He had a blue lightsaber ignited in his hands, fury etched on his face. His fear had come true. His mother was dead._

_And his eyes were a blazing yellow, like the tales I'd heard of the Sith. The eyes matched the Sith's, the one who had killed my Master. The one who wanted to kill me._

_Anakin slaughtered the creatures who had killed his mother, not resting until they were all dead._

I lurched away again, gasping for breath. A thin sheen of sweat trickled down my forehead and I wiped it away, falling back against the bed.

"Drinna?" Obi-Wan asked, shaking me gently. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I replied, attempting to sit up and falling back on the bed, exhausted. "I've never done that before."

"So it would have been easier to tell me?" Obi-Wan asked with a chuckle.

"Probably," I responded. "But I wanted to see if it would work."

Obi-Wan shook his head and stood up.

"You are one of the most stubborn people I know," he said, smiling down at me. "I'll go get a healer."

"No!" I protested. "I'll be fine. I just… need a minute."

"Drinna, I know you pretty well. You need more than a minute."

"I know," I muttered, looking away and biting my lip. "But if Master Windu found out that I'd done something without getting a Master to help… besides you… he'd set back my training by months!"

"So what do you want me to do?" Obi-Wan asked, sitting back down on my bed.

"Just… stay?" I murmured. "I can't be alone in my condition and… I may need help if meditation can't fix this."

"I'd say it's mostly just mental strain," Obi-Wan commented, laying back. "You should just be able to sleep it off. But I'll stay to make sure you'll be alright, if that's what you want."

"You're a calming presence, Obi-Wan," I murmured. "Thank you."

* * *

Obi-Wan was… concerned, to say the least. After Drinna had fallen asleep, he'd removed her lightsaber from her belt and placed it on her nightstand before tucking her in her bed. He sat at the foot of her bed now, thinking over… everything.

Drinna obviously thought that the vision she had seen was important enough for him to see in person. But what it meant, Obi-Wan had no idea. He knew Anakin struggled with missing his mother, and he knew that Anakin still held onto a lot of fear, but he didn't know the extent of that fear.

Obi-Wan turned to gaze at the slumbering Zabrak. She looked… peaceful, Obi-Wan realized. It was an attribute that Obi-Wan often thought of when he looked at Drinna, but now it was highlighted in a way he could observe without her noticing.

Drinna, he knew, was concerned about his Padawan. The fear she had felt had radiated throughout the memory she had shared with Obi-Wan. It chilled him to the bone to know someone so young could hold onto so much fear. Which was why Obi-Wan insisted that he accompany Drinna and Anakin during their lessons. He needed to know for himself and report to the Council.

If he truly held so much fear, then Anakin would need to be closely watched. His studies would be held back until he could control himself.

And that could take years.

Obi-Wan sighed and turned his gaze back to Drinna's sleeping form. Her brown hair covered her face as she moved to her side. Obi-Wan reached over and brushed it out of her face, staring down at her with a soft smile.

_What was he doing?_

Obi-Wan jerked back and began his pacing, occasionally stopping to stare at Drinna. No matter how much he tried to tell himself to focus on something else, his gaze and his mind kept returning to the Zabrak.

She was a soft sunlight, Obi-Wan thought, like the mid-morning creeping through your shades. Drinna had certainly crept into his life. He paused his pacing to look at her again.

Her tattoos swirled softly on her skin, emphasizing the lines on her face, but telling a tale, Obi-Wan knew. She had told him once what the tattoos meant, but they had both been early in their Padawan years at that point and Obi-Wan couldn't remember for the life of him what they meant. He'd have to ask her when she woke up.

Drinna was, in a word, beautiful.

_Beautiful?_

Obi-Wan stopped mid-pace in confusion. When had he thought that of one of his oldest friends? He gazed at her again. Yes, definitely beautiful, he decided.

_But why?_

It distressed Obi-Wan to think of Drinna this way. It… wasn't normal for him. Nor for any Jedi. Perhaps he was too attached to the Zabrak. Heck, he shouldn't even be alone with her… in her rooms of all places. While Obi-Wan had the highest sense of honor and decorum, he knew it wasn't proper.

Making up his mind, Obi-Wan turned to leave.

And paused halfway to the door.

He'd promised Drinna he wouldn't leave her alone. There could be complications after the huge mental exertion she'd had.

But she needed a healer. Obi-Wan, of all the amazing things he was, was not a healer.

So Obi-Wan crossed to the bed and sat at the foot of it, refusing to look at Drinna. He shoved his feelings away, resolving to deal with them later. Perhaps tomorrow, if his Padawan didn't cause as much trouble as he normally did.

_Though_, Obi-Wan thought wryly, _Anakin is almost always in trouble._

* * *

The sunlight filtered through my shades, waking me. I had been tucked in… my lightsaber. Where was my lightsaber?

I sat up and looked around, noticing my lightsaber on my nightstand. Falling back on my bed, I sighed happily.

_Good ol' Obi-Wan_.

Speaking of, where was he? He'd promised to stay. I sat up again, looking around and saw a tuft of auburn hair at the foot of my bed. I slipped out from under the covers and went to investigate.

Obi-Wan sat against my bed, head tilted back and to the side as he slept. I chuckled at the sight. He was calm. Peaceful.

_I'd always liked that about him._

I shook the thought away. It was a ridiculous notion. Jedi don't feel… that. _I_ can't feel that. Not for him. He was one of my oldest friends. Now was not the time to entertain such fanciful thought.

I moved away and grabbed my lightsaber, twirling it in my hands.

I remembered the day I'd gotten my kyber crystal. Obi-Wan and I had entered the cave on Illum together, the other younglings way ahead of us. I'd been so… afraid and Obi-Wan had been so patient. He'd waited for me, talked me into entering.

I hadn't left his side until we'd been separated by a thin sheet of ice as we crossed a lake.

I fell in.

My heart hammered in my chest, just remembering. I'd let out a shriek and Obi-Wan had rushed toward me as the ice began reforming.

* * *

_A younger Drinna kicked at the ice, punching it, trying to escape. The panic was evident in her eyes. Her hearts hammered and her lungs began to burn as Obi-Wan pounded at the ice above her._

_Drinna kept kicking off, trying to find some way to escape. Obi-Wan was gesturing for her to stop, shouting even, but in her panic, Drinna didn't recognize the signs._

_The ice grew thicker with each passing moment._

_It was getting darker, Drinna registered as her lungs began to burn. Obi-Wan's image was fainter now. Her eyes, wide and stinging in the water brimmed with tears._

_She was going to die._

_Somehow, Drinna's panic began to fade as her determination set in. She didn't want to die._

Let go_, a voice seemed to whisper. Drinna, still struggling with her fear, listened. While she couldn't breathe in the water, she still managed to find a way to meditate, letting go of her fear temporarily._

_The fear returned, however, in short time and Drinna's lungs were burning._

Let go.

_Drinna struggled to calm her pounding heart as the ice grew thicker, this time around her. Obi-Wan was struggling to meditate. The exercise had never come easily to him, despite how patient he seemed._

Let go.

_Drinna reached out with the Force, feeling Obi-Wan do the same. She latched onto his Force signature, feeling the air he breathed._

Let go!

_Drinna reluctantly let go of her dependance on Obi-Wan, instead focusing on the Force. Obi-Wan forgotten, Drinna opened her eyes against the freezing water and saw a yellow glow from far away._

_After a moment's hesitation, Drinna began to swim toward it, her movements awkward and slow. The burning in her lungs pained her, and she reached out to the Force for comfort. Even with her abilities as a Zabrak to resist pain, she was quickly starting to be overcome._

Let go.

_The voice was a mere whisper, but Drinna listened as she swam closer to the light. It felt like the right thing to do. The pain was still there but Drinna pressed on._

_Obi-Wan had finally sunken into meditation, feeling for Drinna below the ice. She wasn't directly below him anymore and he furrowed his brows. He reached out in the cave and felt her, steadily moving farther away. He stood to follow._

Let go.

_Obi-Wan frowned at the thought. Let go? But Drinna could die. He wouldn't let her die._

Let go.

_Obi-Wan reached out in the Force for answers. A tug let him know that he needed to leave. So he left, reluctantly, dragging his feet. The Force would let him know if Drinna needed help._

_Drinna grasped at the yellow light, tugging and jerking back as it came free. The ice was thinner here, Drinna realized as the light faded. The kyber crystal in her glove was still letting out light, but not enough that she would be able to see._

_Drinna kicked upwards, placing a hand on the ice. It was too thick to break with a simple hit._

_So she used the Force, felt for the cracks and pushed the Force into them, breaking the ice._

_Her lungs still burning, Drinna kicked upward._

_The ice reformed._

_Drinna placed a hand on the ice again and broke it. She moved upward again._

_It seemed like forever until she finally broke through the ice, pulling herself up._

_She lay on the ground, clutching her kyber crystal in her gloved hands as she shivered. Despite being able to withstand the cold, Drinna was soaked to the bone. She needed to get out of there or she wouldn't survive._

_Her lungs hurt from the sudden burst of air and Drinna sat up, gasping as her head spun and black spots came into her view. Drinna let them disappear before she sat up slowly, taking in her surroundings._

_A sheer cliff wall was in front of her and the frozen lake was below and behind her. It was heights or potential drowning._

_Drinna shuddered. She didn't like either of those options. But she needed to get out of there soon or she would die._

_She felt compelled to go across the lake and stood slowly, on shaking legs. The effort of swimming with a lack of air in the freezing water had drained her, and she had little energy left. She knew she couldn't rely on the Force for strength at the moment. It would only tell her to let go._

_So she walked._

_The moment fear began to grip her heart, the ice began to crack. Drinna would freeze, taking deep breaths that frosted in the air in front of her. She would keep her eyes on her destination and would wait._

_She was good at that._

_After a minute or so, the ice would reform and Drinna would take another shaky step, fighting desperately to stay awake, to stay upright, to not let the fear overcome her._

_So one trembling step after another, Drinna walked and waited, alternating as the ice began to crack behind her._

_She needed to hurry._

_Drinna took one step and collapsed, unable to hold herself up any longer. The ice behind her cracked some more. Panting, Drinna looked up at her destination, shaking her head to move her hair out of her face. It only clung to her more and she tried to brush it aside with her glove. That just made it worse._

_Drinna sat on her knees, trying to regain the energy she had left. She was so close to safety._

_The ice cracked menacingly behind her and she felt the freezing water spray at her heels._

_Drinna pushed herself off of her knees, stumbling as she tried to stand and fell again. She looked at the cave mouth desperately._

_Then she picked herself up and began to run._

_She only made it a few feet before her legs gave out and she slipped on the ice as it cracked behind her. Somehow it never cracked below her, but it was getting closer to doing it._

_Drinna slid backwards a little, scrambling desperately for a grip on the ice as she spun towards the water. Her legs kicked in the water as she ripped her gloves off with shaky hands, the skin red and stinging. She clawed at the ice and hauled herself up again, tears stinging at her eyes, the only warm part of her, it seemed._

_Her legs kicked as she struggled to get out of the water, churning the forming ice so she could have an escape and not be stuck, half frozen in the water._

_Too tired to stand, Drinna tucked her kyber crystal in the fold of her coat along with her gloves. The sopping material only made it harder for to get any traction, so she let her freezing hands out in the open air. That only served to make them hurt more and her hands began to tingle._

_Drinna wasted no more time. She clawed at the ice, digging in with her nails and using what little strength she had to drag herself to the open cave mouth. She forced herself on and collapsed the moment she made it onto solid ground, shivering in the cold. Her coat only pressed the cold in._

_Drinna sobbed as she lay there, her tears warm against her frozen skin. She couldn't feel her feet or her hands anymore and she tried to rub her hands together, feeling nothing._

_Somebody walked nearby._

_Drinna cried out, hoping the person would stop and hear her, help her._

_Obi-Wan heard her cry. He'd meditated patiently and found his crystal, learning to be more patient in the process. Now, he felt a tug and began to walk, forgetting that he had gone that way when he had first entered the sacred grounds at Illum with Drinna._

_Now he knew she was alright and he rushed to her side, slowing himself down to remind himself to be patient._

_Drinna called out again and Obi-Wan resisted the urge to run. Her voice was growing fainter as she sobbed and Obi-Wan did not know if he was going in the right direction._

_The Padawan stopped, reaching out with the Force. He felt he should continue on in the direction he had been going and a calm urgency filled him. He began to run and stopped just before the mouth of the cave._

_Drinna was huddled there, shivering in the cold. It was all she could do to stay awake._

_Obi-Wan crouched next to the girl and grabbed her hands. They felt like ice and they were bright red. Drinna didn't respond to his touch, didn't even recognize he was doing anything._

_Obi-Wan scooped her up and began to run, reaching out in the Force for an exit._

_They made it out of the caves of Ilum mere minutes before it closed._


	6. Chapter 6

Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Drinna would look back on the following weeks as… tense. Anakin kept his Master and fellow Padawan busy, so busy that they didn't have the time to reflect on their feelings except in the short hours they had alone in the mornings.

It was on one particularly difficult day in the Creche that Anakin unwittingly addressed it.

* * *

I laughed as Ashla tugged on my hair and I fell over, lifting her above my head. The other younglings rushed toward me and tackled me, leaving me gasping for breath as I laughed and tickled them.

Anakin and Obi-Wan merely stood off to the side, shaking their heads. I grinned at them as Liam jumped on me, causing me to groan.

"Okay, guys, that's enough," I said, sitting up and pulling the young human boy close. "Do you want to hear a story?"

The kids cheered, which I took as permission to continue. A few of them tottered closer.

"Okay, sit down," I said, patting the ground beside me as Jempa and Ashla came closer. They sat beside me, Ashla gripping my hand. She was rather touchy-feely, I had noticed. I only could hope it wouldn't cause her problems with the Order.

Anakin drew closer as well, eager to hear my story. He'd become more open in the few weeks we'd spent at the Creche. It was doing good things for his fear as well. I made a mental note to take him to some of the other clans as well.

"What do you want to hear about?" I asked, smiling at the younglings and my fellow Padawan.

"How about that time you and Master Kenobi crash landed on Felucia?" Anakin asked. He'd heard about it from Obi-Wan one of the times he mentioned he didn't like flying. Now Anakin was curious. The younglings chorused their agreement and excitement.

I looked over at Obi-Wan. He had stiffened imperceptibly to anyone who didn't know him well. But I did know him well. I just didn't know why he was avoiding my gaze.

"How about next time," I said, tearing my gaze away from Obi-Wan with a frown.

The younglings moaned and Anakin gazed between me and Obi-Wan thoughtfully.

"Why?" Anakin asked. I hesitated in my answer.

"I… just…"

"Did something… _happen_ while you two were there. Alone?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows. I blinked at Anakin in shock as the younglings looked back and forth, luckily not understanding what was going on.

"A-ankin!" I protested, lifting Liam off of my lap and standing. "Nothing happened!" The younglings sat confused and Ashla frowned as I let go of her hand.

Anakin merely chuckled.

"Gee, thought you'd think it funny," he said with a laugh, leaning back on his hands.

"Well, it's not," I replied coolly, walking away.

"Anakin," I heard Obi-Wan reprimand as I opened the door to the freshers just outside of the Creche. I didn't hear anything else.

* * *

"Anakin, I won't have you questioning Drinna's honor," Obi-Wan reprimanded, not moved from his position, though his arms were crossed. "Drinna merely didn't want to tell the story so as not to embarrass me."

"Most of her stories that involve you _are_ embarrassing," Anakin conceded.

Obi-Wan frowned as he moved forward, stopping at a tug on his robes. It was the young Togruta who had been holding Drinna's hand. She looked up at him and gestured widely for him to hold her. His frown softening, Obi-Wan bent down and picked the girl up.

She giggled as she tugged at his beard and Obi-Wan merely sighed. Anakin snorted, but was quickly attacked by a few of the nearby younglings.

Obi-Wan sat down and a few of the other younglings drew near.

"This reminds me of when Drinna and I were younglings," he finally said. Anakin's head snapped up.

"She was three when she joined the clan I was in. There were nine of us before she joined, and she was instantly picked on by two of the younglings who antagonized me. My friends stood up for her and she became close with… her name was Siri Tachi. She wasn't in our clan and I never formally met her until I was a Padawan.

"Drinna had a certain knack for trouble," Obi-Wan continued as the younglings settled down to hear the story. "One of the worst times was shortly after I became a Padawan. One of the younglings who had been my enemy, Bruck Chun, had turned on the Order. He'd attacked one of our friends and chained her at the bottom of the main waterfall in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

"I had my lightsaber and Bruck had one he'd been lent by a Dark Jedi. Drinna merely had her crystal. She hadn't finished building her lightsaber. I don't know why, though it could be that she was almost nine at the time. She didn't have a Master, though I did.

"Bruck lured her away while I was busy trying to free our friend, Bant Eerin. I don't know how she managed to hold him off as long as she did."

Obi-Wan didn't notice when a door opened behind him and Drinna walked in, eyeing him curiously.

"But she held him off until I got up to her. They had somehow gotten _on_ one of the waterfalls and Bruck was raining down blows upon her. She was breathing heavily by the time I got there, blocking one of Bruck's strokes. I fought him for awhile while Drinna climbed higher…"

* * *

_Drinna gripped the slippery rocks, pulling herself up. She was a good fifteen feet above where Obi-Wan and Bruck dueled. The clashing of their sabers sent sparks spinning and where their blades met was pure light._

_Drinna squinted down past them, gripping the rocks when she felt herself leaning forward._

At least Bant was okay.

_Drinna wasn't sure how she'd managed to hold off Bruck as long as she did. At one point, Drinna had held him off with her bare hands._

_She looked at her hands now. They looked completely fine. There were no burn marks, no blood, except for where she had scratched her hand on her way up the waterfall. She looked down the waterfall now and immediately drew back._

_She hated heights._

_Bruck looked up, as if sensing her fear and grinned wickedly at her, shoving Obi-Wan back with a well-placed kick. He went tumbling off the edge and Drinna gasped loudly._

_Bruck used the Force to jump up the waterfall after her and Drinna crawled away, climbing up as best she could with the slippery rocks, scrapping her hands again and hissing. It was more of an annoyance than a pain, really._

_Drinna stood shakily, balancing her way across the waterfall. She was mid-river when Bruck caught up to her ledge. Taking one look at him, Drinna dashed to the other side of the water. He merely jumped across and aimed his red blade at her._

"_Hello, Drinna," he said, eyeing her. "Are you scared?"_

"_N… no!" she squeaked, taking a step to the side. Bruck quickly moved that way, blocking her off from the river._

"_I think you are," he said with a chuckle, rolling his eyes. "You were always scared of something when we were younger."_

_Drinna looked around desperately. There was a rope bridge behind her a few terraces up. If she could just reach it…_

"_Go on," Bruck said, grinning as he pointed with his red blade at the bridge. "If you think you can make it. I'll even give you a headstart."_

_Drinna took the opportunity and dashed to the wall, climbing as quickly as she could. True to his word, Bruck waited a few seconds._

"_You've got to climb faster than that, Drinna," he said with a chuckle, slashing at her legs as she desperately climbed. She'd made it over the first ledge. Bruck growled and jumped up after her as she climbed up the next ledge._

_Drinna sent a blast of water at him, knocking him back a few steps as he rubbed his eyes._

"_Hey!"_

_Drinna made it up the second ledge. Bruck followed._

_Looking behind her, Drinna realized she wouldn't be able to climb quickly enough. So she reached out with the Force and jumped, barely missing Bruck's slash at her legs._

_She stumbled backward, arms wheeling in big circles as she tottered on the edge of the ledge. She was going to fall and she was terrified._

_Reaching out with the Force, Drinna pulled at a log. She went stumbling forward, falling off of her feet as the log went over her head and barely missed Bruck._

_Taking a moment to breathe, Drinna forced herself to her feet and ran toward the rope bridge. It was long, perhaps forty feet._

_But Bruck forgot one thing as he chased after Drinna: Obi-Wan._

_Obi-Wan, contrary to what Drinna had thought, had not fallen off the edge. He gripped it now, stunned. He had hit his head hard and was starting to see stars, but he knew Drinna was in trouble and pulled himself up. Neither Initiate had noticed his recovery, and Bant was too tired to comment._

_Obi-Wan leaped up after Bruck and Drinna, desperately trying to catch up._

_Drinna took one look at the swinging rope bridge and decided she would rather die before she took a step on it. But a growl behind her terrified her more as she turned to face Bruck._

"_Are you trying to kill me?" he asked as he approached, swinging his saber around and sending sparks across the stones, gouging deep lines in the soft soil._

"_Are you?" she returned breathlessly, taking a hesitant step onto the rope bridge. Bruck noticed her hesitation and grinned._

"_You're in my way," Bruck said with a shrug._

"_You _chased _me!" Drinna protested, her hands gripping the ropes in a deathgrip as she took another two steps back._

"_Maybe so," Bruck returned, advancing like a panther about to pounce. "But still!"_

_He leapt forward and slashed at her head. Drinna ducked and twirled out of the way, taking shaky steps as the rope bridge wobbled. She let go with one hand and shoved Bruck back into the water._

_Obi-Wan was half-way up the waterfall now._

_Drinna turned and ran nimbly across the bridge, feeling the sway of the bridge and the empty feeling twisting in her gut. She kept her gaze determinedly on the other side._

_Then she felt the bridge tremble and buck, twisting to the side. She lurched, grabbing desperately at the side that was higher._

_Looking down, Drinna really wished she hadn't. She was high in the air, nearing one hundred feet. If she fell…_

_The bridge trembled again as Bruck played on it, bucking it. Drinna squeaked out her trance, glaring at Bruck._

"_Oh, you don't like that?" he asked. Obi-Wan was on the ledge below. "How about this?"_

_Bruck stepped off of the bridge and Drinna sighed in relief before recoiling as Bruck raised his saber and let it go in an arc towards the remaining support on his side of the bridge. He stopped it just before it hit and grinned at Drinna before raising it again, coming closer and closer with each swing, just to torment her._

_Drinna gripped the bridge tightly in fear of her life as Obi-Wan jumped up on the last ledge. He locked eyes with her and stared in horror as Bruck turned around, noticing him for the first time since their earlier battle._

_Bruck growled and turned to face Obi-Wan as Drinna took a shaky step back, her eyes locked on Obi-Wan as he held his saber aloft._

"_Well, this won't do," Bruck murmured, lifting his saber. Obi-Wan prepared himself to parry, shifting his stance to Form III, Soresu. But Bruck wasn't aiming for Obi-Wan._

_Drinna let out a scream as she felt herself falling, gripping tightly to the rope bridge. It swung against the rock wall on the other side, stunning her and loosening her grip on the bridge, threatening to drop her to her death._

"_Drinna!" Obi-Wan called, reaching out with the Force to try to grab her. But Bruck struck, forcing Obi-Wan back as he parried desperately, shocked into action._

_Drinna's grip was failing her and her head was pounding. Zabraks didn't necessarily feel pain on the same level as other species, but when they did it was a lot of pain. She groaned and tried to pull herself up, her legs slipping and dangling. She shut her eyes tightly to prevent herself from looking down and gripped desperately to the hanging rope bridge. Her hands were scuffed from hitting the other cliff-face hard and she knew they were bleeding._

_Obi-Wan, meanwhile, was clashing fiercely with Bruck._

"_I've learned well, haven't I?" Bruck asked as he struck away Obi-Wan's attempt at offense. His pale blue eyes were fierce. "Xanatos showed me what true power is. The Jedi will regret that they held me back!"_

_Bruck lunged and Obi-Wan danced out of the way._

"_They never held you back," Obi-Wan said, parrying Bruck's strike._

"_No one chose me as Padawan!" Bruck all but screamed, attacking Obi-Wan with pent-up fury. He swung at Obi-Wan's legs and he danced back._

"_Then you were not ready," Obi-Wan returned steadily._

"_I was ready!" A sudden thought came to the fallen boy. "More ready than you, Obi-Wan. _You're _the one who disgraced the Order!" Obi-Wan knew it was a ploy to get him to lose his temper. But it was working._

_Obi-Wan's next attempt at offense was full of anger. Yes, he had left. He'd made Drinna sad when he'd sent her the holomessage. But he knew she would understand. She always did._

_But Drinna had never really gotten over it, and her trust in him was lower than it had ever been._

Yes_, Obi-Wan thought, _Bruck had learned well from Xanatos.

"_I was always better than you," Bruck taunted. "Now I am even stronger!"_

_But Obi-Wan, too, was stronger, thanks to the patient training of Qui-Gon Jinn._

As long as I don't give in to my anger, _Obi-Wan thought._

_Obi-Wan's gaze turned to Drinna as she hung on the cliff, barely hanging on. With one giant leap, he made his way to the cliffedge. Bruck joined him, aiming his saber at Obi-Wan's back._

"_She doesn't look too good, does she?" Bruck asked, aiming a blow at Obi-Wan's midsection. _

_Staggering under the weight of the blow, Obi-Wan tried to force himself away from the edge of the cliff._

"_That's right, Obi-Wan," Bruck chuckled darkly. "Drinna is going to die. I won't have to do a thing. I'll just make you watch it. We would have freed her if we got the treasure. But another person will die because of you. Right in front of your eyes." Obi-Wan looked desperately back at Drinna. She was still holding on. "Just like your friend… Cerasi." Obi-Wan's gaze snapped back toward Bruck, his eyes tormented. "I overheard the other Jedi talk about how you failed her."_

_Something inside Obi-Wan snapped and he went on the offense, raining down angry blows. Bruck stumbled back._

_But Obi-Wan's foot twisted on a stray hole Bruck had gouged in the ground when he chased Drinna. He fell to one knee now._

"_Good move, _Oafy_-Wan," Bruck chuckled, raining down his own set of blows. Obi-Wan's limbs trembled from exertion._

_Obi-Wan breathed deeply and allowed the Force to flow through him based on a sudden prompt. The water would turn back on soon, he knew._

_Obi-Wan struggled to his feet and began to slowly push Bruck towards the nearly dry river-bed as he blocked blows, weakening his stroke slightly. He wanted Bruck to become overconfident._

"_Getting tired, Oafy-Wan?" Bruck sneered. "Don't worry. It won't be long before I finish you off."_

_Obi-Wan, out of the corner of his eye, saw a red security light turn on. It was the security light. The water would be next, he knew._

_But Bruck didn't._

_Obi-Wan sidestepped Bruck's next stroke and Bruck went stumbling into the waterfall bed._

_The water poured out in torrents from the hidden pipes. Bruck was barely able to keep his footing, but swung at Obi-Wan…_

_And his saber shorted out when it hit the water._

"_That's it, Bruck," Obi-Wan said. "Give up."_

"_Never!" Bruck spat, hate still in his eyes. He reached down for something to throw... Obi-Wan readied himself._

_But it never came._

_The water pulled Bruck down and for one instant, Bruck was teetering on the edge of the waterfall, one hundred feet up._

_In one fluid motion, Obi-Wan deactivated his lightsaber and leaped forward. He reached out a hand, ready to pull Bruck to safety._

_But it was too late. Bruck's panic sent his arms windmilling, further upsetting his balance. Obi-Wan felt Bruck's fingertips brush his…_

_Bruck, instead of grabbing Obi-Wan's hand, chose to fall._

_Obi-Wan stood in shock as he watched Bruck's body hit a rock and bounce, then hit another. He landed on the dry grass beside the waterfall, his head at an awkward angle._

_Bruck didn't move._

_Drinna was barely hanging on. The overwhelming emotions Bruck and Obi-Wan had been feeling trumped her own and she couldn't tell up from down. She had no way of knowing she was not the one feeling emotions, but the effort of channeling such feeling exhausted her._

_Then Bruck had died and Drinna couldn't hold on to the rope bridge any longer. The lingering pain had her crying out and releasing the rope bridge._

_Obi-Wan turned at the cry and watched Drinna begin her plumet. He hadn't been able to do anything for Bruck, but he could do something for Drinna._

_Reaching out with the Force as he ran to the cliff edge, he stopped Drinna's fall. Obi-Wan was straining to keep Drinna in the air, but he knew if he stopped Drinna would fall to her death like Bruck had._

_He wasn't going to lose her, too._

_So Obi-Wan dug deep within him, relying on the Force as he pulled Drinna up, painstakingly slow. He was exhausted, his limbs trembling from exertion, but he would not stop. He _could _not stop._

_Drinna was barely a foot away now, and he reached out to grab her hand. When she was close enough, he grabbed her and pulled her up with his own waning strength and let go with the Force. They fell back on the ground and Obi-Wan sighed in relief._

_Drinna sobbed as Obi-Wan sat back up and held her. The emotions she'd felt tore at her soul and she wasn't sure of anything. It was all so confusing to her. And to fall like that… Drinna knew that emotion was hers, pure and simple. The fear was all hers._

_Obi-Wan held her close as he struggled down the waterfall ridge by ridge. He handed her over to Bant, stroking her hair and promising he would return when he helped Qui-Gon. Drinna could only nod._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: And I'm back. Long time no see!**

**I have good news: I've started writing for Episode 2, so look for that starting in Chapter 10!**

* * *

"Come in," Master Windu called from his quarters. I hesitated briefly before entering.

"You asked for me, Master?" I asked, bowing low.

"Yes," Master Windu said simply. "I want to discuss shatterpoint with you. The concept must be understood before you can attempt it. Sit." Master Windu gestured to a meditation cushion and I sat in meditation pose across from him.

"What exactly _is_ shatterpoint?" I asked.

"Shatterpoint is a technique where you perceive a turning point in something, or someone. You find… fault lines, so to speak. Do you follow?"

"I think so…" I replied, thinking hard. A memory popped up, unbidden. "I think I've done it before."

Master Windu looked surprised as he opened his eyes.

"Have you?" He stared at me with an intensity I had seen many times before. "I suppose with your newfound ability to share memories you could show me?"

I gaped at my Master. How had he-

"How did I know?" he asked. "Simple. I sensed your energy deplete suddenly through our bond. I knew you'd been at the Creche and I knew you and Obi-Wan were talking so I went and questioned him about it."

"Oh," was all I could say. Obi-Wan had told Master Windu.

"To put it shortly, I am upset that you didn't come to me first, but now that you know you can do it, I'd like you to make the ability useful and not injure yourself again. So, I'll be helping you this time."

"Yes, Master," I said, bowing my head.

"Next time, come to me first," he said before closing his eyes, prompting me to do the same.

"It was on Illum," I began, calling on the memory. I shivered, the air growing colder. A nudge on my mind. I opened my mind, allowing the presence to join me…

* * *

"Padawan. Padawan!" I jolted up, gasping in a breath. "Breathe, Drinna, breathe," the voice prompted. "That was harder than I thought it would be. And sooner."

The room came into focus as Master Windu kneeled over me. I tried to sit up, but he pushed me gently back down.

"You need rest. I must say, I am impressed, however. The memory was vivid in my mind. And that definitely was shatterpoint." Master Windu sat back on his heels, regarding me closely. "We'll practice shatterpoint more next time, but for now I'll have Kenobi come take you to the Halls of Healing."

I turned my head to watch as Master Windu got up and commed Obi-Wan. Why was I more exhausted than my previous attempts… less than twenty-four hours ago. _Kriff_.

If there was one thing Master Lergo had drilled into me, it was to not strain myself mentally. I had really failed, this time.

"Kenobi is on his way," Master Windu said, crouching down beside me. "He said to tell you that his Padawan was disappointed that you wouldn't be joining them in the Creche for weekly lessons. Care to tell me about that?"

I sighed and bit my lip. Master Windu certainly had a knack for finding things out.

"Anakin has a lot of fear, Master Windu. Before he and Obi-Wan went to Carnelion IV, Anakin spoke with the Chancellor and… wanted to leave the Order. He hasn't shown any desire to do so since, but it's only been a few weeks. Obi-Wan also mentioned that Anakin has a lot of fear, and so I offered to check it out, being a Force Empath and all. I didn't know…"

"Didn't know what, Padawan?" Master Windu asked after a few moments of silence. He shook me gently and asked again. "Didn't know what?"

I was spared from answering when the door slid open and Obi-Wan stepped into the room, followed by Anakin.

"Is she alright?" Obi-Wan asked Master Windu, crouching down beside him.

"I'm fine, Obi-Wan. I just forgot one of the basic rules of being a Force Empath."

"Which is?"

"Master Lergo didn't want me exerting myself mentally when I was learning a new skill. I didn't wait more than twenty-four hours between attempts, and so I blacked out."

Obi-Wan shook his head and scooped me up, standing.

"Let's get you to the Halls-"

"Wait a moment, Kenobi," Master Windu said. "My Padawan and I have unfinished business."

_Can Anakin leave? _I asked Master Windu through our bond. _I don't want him getting more concerned about… anything by hearing our discussion._

_Very well_.

"Skywalker, if you could leave us for a moment?" Master Windu asked. The young boy nodded and left. Obi-Wan moved to put me down. "Kenobi, I think it would be best if you stayed."

"This is about Anakin, isn't it?" he asked, setting me against the wall so I could sit propped up.

"Yes. Before you entered, I asked my Padawan about the weekly lessons she was giving your Padawan. She mentioned that the Chancellor talked to your Padawan and then he wanted to leave the Order. This is concerning."

"I'm sure it wasn't the Chancellor's fault, Master Windu," Obi-Wan said.

"Then whose fault was it?" Obi-Wan sighed. "Odd how you both have the same reaction to talking about your Padawan, Kenobi."

"He's afraid," Obi-Wan finally said. "His fear is so deeply rooted that… I'm not sure what to do. Drinna has been helping him let go of his fear bit by bit, but I'm not sure how long it will take until he can… function at an acceptable level without the possibility of him…"

"What?"

"Turning to the Dark Side, Master Windu," I said, looking away from Obi-Wan. "I… saw something during my first lesson with him. A vision. He was older, consumed by fear… He was killing and… his eyes. Oh Force!" I buried my head in my hands.

"He had eyes like a Sith, Master Windu," Obi-Wan said reluctantly. "At least, that's what Drinna showed me."

"That was the first time you used this ability?" Master Windu asked me.

"Yes."

"Hmm." Master Windu stood and walked to the unshaded window. Obi-Wan and I exchanged looks.

_This may not bode well for Anakin,_ Obi-Wan murmured.

_I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen_.

_It wasn't your fault, Drinna,_ Obi-Wan gently chided. _We both knew his fear was a concern. I just hope they give him a chance._

"When you two are done talking…" Master Windu said, turning to face us. I looked away from Obi-Wan. "I am concerned about young Skywalker. He needs to learn to control his fear if he is what your master thought he was," Master Windu said, looking pointedly at Obi-Wan. "And I'm not sure that I'm convinced that the Chancellor had nothing to do with Skywalker wanting to leave the Order. I will talk to the Council about this. I cannot promise anything about the boy's fate, but I will see what I can do."

Obi-Wan stood and bowed to Master Windu then picked me up and left the room as Master Windu returned to the window.

"What was that about?" Anakin asked, standing as we left.

"Master Windu wanted to know something that Drinna and I had discussed about… emotions. That's all."

"Okay," Anakin said, convinced. "Are we still going to do our lesson this week, Drinna?"

"I don't know, Anakin. I'm a little tired right now, but maybe we could talk about emotions instead? That way nothing bad will happen to… me."

Anakin nodded, lost in thought.

"Was there an emotion you wanted to talk about?"

"You mentioned love was a complicated emotion. Can we talk about that?"

Obi-Wan spluttered and looked at me.

_Drinna. What did you do?_

"Um…" I hadn't thought about it when I'd promised Anakin we could talk about it. In the Halls of Healing… and with Obi-Wan nearby… it wouldn't be a good idea. "Maybe later. _Some Jedi_," I looked pointedly at Obi-Wan at that, "don't approve of even thinking about that emotion."

_We will talk about this._

_What? You want to discuss love with me?_ I teased.

_Drinna, this is serious. Love is forbidden._

I sighed. Oh, what a horrible thought. Sometimes being a Jedi was so complicated.

"Are you okay, Drinna?" Anakin asked, frowning.

"I'm fine, Anakin," I responded, forcing myself to smile. "But is it okay if we talk about a different emotion?"

"Sure."

* * *

_Drinna huffed as she waited for Obi-Wan. Normally she was patient, but today was completely different. She'd been a Padawan for a few weeks and Obi-Wan and his Master had just gotten back from a mission. Obi-Wan didn't even know Drinna had been made a Padawan!_

_The ten-year old Zabrak kicked at the waters in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Of course, she was on the very bottom level, not having gotten over her fear of heights. Or of what had happened._

_A door slid open behind her and Drinna turned to look. It wasn't Obi-Wan. It was Master Lergo._

"_Still waiting for your friend?" Master Lergo asked, sitting down beside the girl._

"_He's been back for hours. Why isn't he here yet?" Drinna asked, curling up on herself. "He said he wasn't tired and that he would come visit me as soon as he got back."_

_Master Lergo sighed, leaning back on her hands as she stared at the waterfalls and foliage._

"_You need to let go of your emotions, Drinna. Ever since Obi-Wan left the Order, you've been a little less open with him, with me, and with yourself. You're bottling those emotions up. It isn't healthy. And you're angry and sad with everything right now. You need to let go."_

"_It's hard, Master," Drinna pouted._

"_I know. You've struggled with this your whole life, haven't you? You're just learning now, and it takes time."_

_Drinna and her Master sat there for some time, just listening to the waterfalls._

"_Drinna, I think you should go seek Obi-Wan out and talk to him."_

"_I will, Master!" Drinna said, jumping up and dashing out of the room._

_It took her little time to find Obi-Wan, holed up in his room as he was. She waited outside of his door for him to recognize her presence, but he did nothing._

_So she knocked._

"_Who is it?" Drinna frowned and waved the door open with the Force._

"_I thought you were going to come visit me," she said as she entered, folding her arms over her chest._

_Obi-Wan barely turned around._

"_I forgot."_

"_You, of all people, don't forget," Drinna scoffed. "You didn't want to come."_

_A wave of emotions hit Drinna, causing her to stumble back into the door. A hint of anger. And sadness. Overwhelming sadness. Was that grief? A touch of… affection? Yes. Definitely affection, sickeningly so._

"_Who died?" Drinna asked, standing and moving to sit next to Obi-Wan. He didn't glance at her. Drinna pouted. There was once a time when Obi-Wan wouldn't have hesitated to talk to Drinna._

"_No one died," he finally said. "What makes you think that?" His emotions were schooled again, hidden - mostly - from Drinna's senses._

"_You're sad. And you liked whoever… got hurt."_

"_No one got hurt, Drinna," Obi-Wan said sharply. "I'm indifferent on the matter."_

_Drinna reeled back. Obi-Wan was… being mean to her? This was new. Something terrible must have happened on his mission._

"_Well, you're back. Where did you go?"_

"_Mandalore."_

"_What did you do?"_

"_Protected somebody."_

"_Who?"_

"_The Duchess."_

_Drinna frowned. There was that affection again, mingled with sadness. So it was the Duchess who had Obi-Wan's attention at the moment and not her. And Obi-Wan's answers were so short. He was annoyed._

"_I bet you'd rather talk to the Duchess right now than me," Drinna said, standing. "So I'll go. I was hoping to talk to you about something important, but I guess it's not that important to you."_

_Obi-Wan shifted, anger bubbling higher. He finally turned to face her._

"_Satine and I are nothing, despite what you might think, Drinna. You may think you understand emotions, but you don't. I have no emotions. I am a Jedi. Jedi do not _love_."_

_Drinna tilted her head, studying Obi-Wan. So he… loved her?_

_Why did it hurt so much to hear that?_

"_You're a nuisance and a bother, Drinna. Leave me alone. You're right that whatever you wanted to talk to me about isn't important."_

_Drinna blinked, reeling from the sadness and anger both of them felt. And strongly, too. She turned to leave, but stopped at the door._

"_I thought you'd be excited to hear that I am now a Padawan, but I guess you don't care, do you?" Drinna asked softly, shutting the door behind her._

_Drinna brushed at the angry tears that spilled from her eyes with her sleeve. She could sense Obi-Wan moving in his room, and she really didn't want to talk to him right now._

_Drinna ran, not caring where she went._

_It was Master Lergo that found her, probably with the help of one of the Temple Guards who had likely seen her crying under the ancient tree near the Tranquility Spire's base._

"_Your emotions are strong, young one," Master Lergo commented, sitting beside her distraught Padawan. "Did your talk with Obi-Wan not go well?"_

"_No!" Drinna sobbed, clutching her knees tighter. "No, it was awful! He didn't want to talk to me! He was so mean and sad and… and he loved someone and it hurts and I don't know why! He didn't ask how I was. He wouldn't even really talk to me except to insult me when I said that he obviously didn't care about me!"_

"_Hmm."_

_Drinna tried to slow her breathing, but it was hard. Her head and her eyes hurt from all of the crying._

"_I missed him," Drinna sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "I missed him and I wanted to see him, but it was like he didn't even recognize me. It was like I wasn't important to him. I was looking forward to talking about his mission and talking about me being a Padawan now, but he didn't care!"_

_Master Lergo gently unfolded Drinna from her position and wiped the stray tears from her eyes._

"_It hurts because _you _care, my Padawan." Master Lergo frowned as she considered carefully her next words. "Obi-Wan is saddened because he loved someone and he's chosen a path that forbids love. You're sad because you love Obi-Wan and he didn't return that love."_

"_But love is _wrong_, Master!" Drinna said, looking horrified. "I can't love Obi-Wan. That's… that's gross." Drinna wrinkled her nose._

_Master Lergo laughed. Actually laughed._

"_Not like that, Drinna. There are different types of love. But perhaps we should discuss this where others can't hear us, hmm?" Drinna nodded and took her Master's proffered hand._

_They walked side by side in silence to Master Lergo's rooms and settled on the bed._

"_Love is… complicated, Drinna. There are at least five different types: familial love, love between family members; paternal love, love between parent and child; infatuation, liking one thing about someone and making that who they are; unconditional love, which the Jedi teach as compassion; and then there's what you think of as love, which leads people to get married and have families."_

"_So I don't feel _love _for Obi-Wan?"_

"_No, Drinna. I would guess that you feel familial love for him, and him for you. It is most likely that Obi-Wan was infatuated with whoever he loved rather than _loved _them. But he cannot act on those feelings without being shunned and perhaps expelled by the Jedi Order._

"_Love isn't bad, Drinna. It's selfless, kind, and generally a positive emotion. Feelings come from the Force, so it's not - it cannot be - bad. What the Jedi Order does not understand is that it is possible to feel emotions without letting them overcome and control you. That's what you're learning to do._

"_The Jedi _fear _emotion. I suspect Obi-Wan does, too, to some extent. Fear is the path to the Dark Side, Drinna. Don't forget that. The Jedi's vision is clouded by their fear of accepting emotions as valid and real. As your Master, I'm going to be teaching you how to deal with emotions and become the best Jedi you can be. You can't avoid emotion, but you can channel it and learn what is healthy and what is not._

"_We're going to start working soon on how to do that. You need to first recognize the emotions you are feeling and find their source, why you feel the way you feel. Then you accept that feeling as part of you. And then you let it dissolve, give it over to the Force._

"_As long as you don't let your emotions control you, you'll be alright, Drinna."_

_Drinna breathed slowly now, calmer than she had been before._

"_Wow." Master Lergo smiled._

"_Do you feel better?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_I helped you follow this pattern just barely. We'll get into it more in detail later. But for now, I think there's someone who wants to see you. I'll escort you to your room so you can talk."_

_The trip was short. Master Lergo and Drinna lived near each other on account of the new bond between Master and Padawan._

_Obi-Wan was waiting outside of Drinna's door, a pained look on his face._

"_Drinna, I'm so sorry!" he cried, rushing to her and hugging her, lifting her off the ground._

"_It's okay, Obi-Wan," Drinna said when Obi-Wan set her down. "Why don't we go talk in my room?" Obi-Wan nodded and the two went in to talk._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: And I'm back with another chapter! Thank you all so much for reading! Your comments bring me great joy.**

**I had to pull from Season 5 of the Clone Wars to understand a little of how this chapter would work. You'll see further on.**

**I hope you enjoy! And not to worry, there is a solution - and an old friend - next chapter.**

* * *

Anakin was nearly dragging Obi-Wan to the Creche. He'd been happier in the past weeks under Drinna's tutelage than Obi-Wan had ever seen. And he loved his time in the Creche.

Perhaps Drinna had been right. Maybe Anakin's studies shouldn't focus so much on fighting, but on those in the Creche.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked, stopping at the doors of the Creche. Drinna was running late today, it seemed.

"Yes, Anakin?" Obi-Wan replied, raising a brow.

"Why is everyone so afraid here?" Obi-Wan blinked, not sure if he'd heard Anakin correctly.

"No one is afraid, Anakin. What makes you say that?"

"Just something Drinna said," Anakin said with a shrug. "I've been noticing more and more my emotions… and sometimes other people's emotions."

"What did she say?" Obi-Wan asked, turning to face his Padawan fully.

"Just that the Jedi don't like emotion and they try to squash it which is why there are very few true Force Empaths and - Drinna!" The boy waved as the other Padawan jogged up to them.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late!" Drinna said when she finally stopped near them. "Master Windu and I were discussing one of Master Lergo's theories… well, more debating, but I lost track of time."

"No worries, Drinna," Obi-Wan said, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiling at her. "Your time with your Master is more important than these lessons."

"Oh, but it's also my time in the Creche, Obi-Wan, and I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"Well then, we should go in." Obi-Wan waved the door open and waited for Anakin to enter before he grabbed Drinna. "You need to be careful what you say to Anakin, Drinna," he warned. "What you're saying is the beginning of defection from the Order."

"No, Obi-Wan, I'm merely pointing out flaws. If he is the Chosen One that will bring balance to the Force, he needs to find balance in himself first, I've told you this before!"

"But he does not need to go around thinking that everyone here is afraid of emotion, Drinna! None of us are, we just have learned to let go."

"No, you've learned to force it away, bottle it up. It's dangerous and it makes you heartless at times. To have emotion is to be, in a sense, human. While I may not be a human, I still am a part of humanity. Without emotion, where will we be? Stuck in a loop of logic. If we focus on logic, where will we be? Blinded by emotions. The Jedi are on one end of the spectrum, the Sith on the other. Balance is in between."

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes, Drinna."

"That, in and of itself, Obi-Wan, was an absolute. Now I really need to go to the Creche and start Anakin's next lesson."

Drinna ripped herself from Obi-Wan's grasp and marched into the room, the door sliding shut behind her.

Obi-Wan shook his head, rubbing his temples. Drinna didn't know the heresy in her words. She was going down a path of danger. Allowing emotions? That was not something the Jedi taught. It would lead her to the Dark Side. Down a path he could not - would not - follow.

Obi-Wan sighed and straightened, forcing his worry away. He was a stone column, unmoved expect by the will of the Force.

But did he want that?

Obi-Wan shook his head again. Drinna's thoughts were getting to him. He couldn't let them. He wouldn't leave the Order again.

But was Drinna really proposing leaving the Order? No. She only talked of changing it, bettering it. Many of the older Masters would disagree with her, set in their ways, but… was change bad? Or did those Masters really _fear_ change? Was pushing emotion away really bad?

Before he could think any further, Obi-Wan entered the room. Anakin and Drinna were playing with the younglings, laughing and having a good time.

Drinna's thoughts couldn't be all bad. After all, Anakin was becoming a better person, more open to the Force. And to change. To letting go. He would be a Jedi yet.

Obi-Wan wasn't sure if that was because of his own efforts anymore.

* * *

"Breathe, Anakin," I said, forcing myself to keep my eyes closed. "If you want to attempt to rid yourself of any emotion, you have to be breathing properly first."

Anakin huffed, by tried to do as I had asked.

"That's _better_. Now reach out with the Force. Recognize everything in the room."

"_Everything_?"

"Yes, Anakin. You need to learn to rely on the Force but also when to rely on yourself. When I got my kyber crystal, I was overwhelmed with emotion and I tried to let the Force do it all. I had to follow my own instinct instead, otherwise I would have drowned. And I couldn't do that," I said, opening my eyes and looking at Anakin who was staring at me with wide eyes, "without breathing properly and calmly. Start again."

I reached out with the Force, sensing each of the children. I allowed myself a small smile. Some of them were imitating us, the rest were running around rambunctiously. Anakin had since learned what distractions to keep out of his mind during meditation. Another good thing about working in the Creche.

Obi-Wan's presence was small, but troubled. He himself had never tried to join in, merely observing, but I knew our conversation had gotten to him. Emotions were not a comfortable topic among the Jedi. It had gotten Master Lergo in trouble in the past.

It would likely get me in trouble as well.

The door slid open and Anakin kept breathing. A Padawan slipped in the room, hesitated upon seeing me, and made his way over.

"Padawan Berrik?" he whispered. "I'm Ferus Olin. I've been sent to take over for you in the Creche today."

"I wasn't aware that my shift was being transferred for the day, Padawan Olin," I replied with a frown. "May I ask why you are taking over?"

"The Council wishes to speak with you and Master Kenobi. Immediately." I looked to Obi-Wan. He stared back, his eyes ridden with poorly disguised worry. Had he jumped to the conclusion I had?

"Very well. Is Padawan Skywalker to join us?"

"No. The Council didn't ask for him." I stood, bowing to Ferus and touched Anakin lightly on the shoulder. He startled, but looked at me quizzically.

"Obi-Wan and I will be back. For now, just enjoy your time in the Creche. _Don't_ try to sort out your emotions on your own."

Anakin nodded and Obi-Wan and I left.

I sighed as we walked, knowing that this meeting wasn't likely to be pleasant.

"Drinna," Obi-Wan said suddenly. "Thank you."

"For what, Obi-Wan?" I asked, glancing at him. He kept his gaze straight ahead.

"For helping Anakin. I may not agree with all that has apparently been said, but you've done a lot of good for the boy. He's the happiest I've ever seen him and he's more open to… everything. I doubt I could have done that for him."

"Obi-Wan-" I started. He held up his hand, smiling sadly at me.

"Drinna, you are an incredible woman. You've been through a lot, and as such you are able to help so much more. If, once this meeting is over, you would tell me your theories on emotion, the Force, anything… I would be honored to hear them and discuss with you."

We had stopped in the hallway, a few Jedi milling about us. I was touched that Obi-Wan was willing to talk to me about it… but I had a feeling that the meeting would not go well.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," I finally said. "We should get going."

The rest of the walk was in silence. It wasn't a tense silence, merely a content one.

Temple Guards waited outside the Council room.

"What?" I heard Obi-Wan breathe out.

The Guards let us pass, following us as we entered the room and set up station on either side of the antechamber doors.

Master Windu was waiting for us.

"Padawan, Kenobi, thank you for your prompt arrival. The Council would like to speak with you both briefly."

_This is about Anakin, isn't it?_ I asked.

The slight nod Master Windu gave me sent chills up my spine. The only reason I would be here was if they believed I had something to do with… whatever was going on.

We walked in the room and Master Windu took a seat. I felt my jaw start to drop and shut it quickly. The full Council was here.

"Padawan Berrik. Master Kenobi," Master Plo Koon said, his elbows resting on his arm rests as he sat forward, fingers touching. "We have called you here to speak about Padawan Anakin Skywalker. Master Windu has told us what was relayed to him. We would like the full story."

Obi-Wan and I looked at each other, unsure as to who would talk first. Obi-Wan gestured to me, raising an eyebrow.

I opened my mouth-

"I, for one," Master Even Piell said, "am curious to know what exactly this Padawan is teaching _his_ Padawan. She had a strange Master. How much of that indoctrination is being passed on?"

I bristled, but exhaled to let the anger out. Anger would not help me if I let it cloud me.

"I am sorry that you are not able to respect those who have joined the Force, Master Piell," I said slowly, looking at him as calmly as I could, "but what concerns me most is that you feel Master Lergo was 'strange' and 'indoctrinating' me. As a Force Empath, I have been given a different path than the rest of the Jedi. Thus, I have needed other ways to deal with problems. Master Lergo's methods were not _strange_, Master Piell. They were _survival_. They were _necessary_. They were what a Jedi aspires to be."

"But she taught you to focus on your emotions," Master Kit Fisto said curiously. "That is against our Code."

"Recite for us the Code, Padawan Berrik," Master Plo Koon said, leaning back in his chair.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force."

"Know the Code, do you, but understand, you do not," Master Yoda said. My eyes snapped open.

"The Code says 'there is no emotion,' Padawan Berrik," Master Piell said. "You cannot justify what Master Lergo has taught you, nor what _you_ are teaching the Chosen One."

"If I may, Masters," I said, struggling to not clench my fists. "Is there not an alternate Code that is taught to the younglings?"

The Masters murmured to themselves and Obi-Wan eyed me critically.

"This is true," Master Windu said. "Perhaps you could remind us of _that_ Code?" I nodded to my Master.

"Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force."

"An interesting point, Padawan," Master Windu said, a hint of a smile in his voice.

"This is getting us nowhere!" Master Piell said, clenching his fists. "We are here to discuss the Chosen One, not how corrupted this _Padawan_ is."

"You forget, Master Piel, that she is my Padawan. I would not have taken her on if I believed her to be in the wrong."

I bowed to Master Windu. As I straightened, I glanced around the room. They were contemplating.

Master Yoda sighed.

"Master Kenobi, if you could wait outside, we would hear Padawan Berrik's side of the issue first," Master Plo Koon said after a few moments. Obi-Wan bowed and retreated to the antechamber. "Tell us, Padawan Berrik, how you came to be a mentor for young Skywalker."

"I was meditating. Master Kenobi joined me when he and Padawan Skywalker returned from Carnelion IV. Padawan Skywalker had expressed desire, before the mission, to leave the Order. He had spoken mere hours before to the Chancellor, so I was suspicious, but I suppose that is beside the point. My apologies, Masters."

I took a deep breath, reaching out with the Force as I felt a nudge. It was Obi-Wan. I gently shoved him away.

"Master Kenobi expressed concern that Padawan Skywalker was still attached to his mother and that he feared losing her. I offered my help in dealing with emotions. Master Kenobi agreed and we set the first lesson for when I have my time in the Creche. I thought it would do Padawan Skywalker some good to be around the younglings."

"Why is that?" Master Windu asked.

"Because he has become attached to them, Master Windu, as I suspected he would."

"Forbidden, attachments are," Master Yoda said.

"Master Yoda is right, my Padawan. Why would you put him in a position of more fear?"

"The younglings will grow up, Masters. Padawan Skywalker will be around many of them, perhaps developing friendships with them. It will allow him to learn to let go of attachments."

Masters Windu, Koon, and Fisto were nodding. Master Piell just glared. Master Yoda, on the other hand, was gazing at me thoughtfully.

"Wise, this is." I bowed to Master Yoda. "To teach young Skywalker of emotion, it is not."

"With all due respect, Master Yoda, emotions should not be feared."

"Jedi do not _fear_!" Master Piell protested.

Master Windu silenced him with a wave of his hand, looking at me intently, his eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath. This would most likely not go well.

"The formal Jedi Code speaks that there is no emotion, but this is not true, Master Windu. It is in our nature to feel emotions, just as it is in our nature to be in tune with the Force. The Jedi teach wrongfully that there is no emotion and it causes an intense fear in the younglings and Padawans as they learn. Emotions, when bottled up, can lead you to freeze on the battlefield. They can cause you to explode or go insane. Fear is often one of the most potent emotions because it is all around us. The Jedi are letting this fear cloud their judgement, Masters. We all need to learn how to properly let go, but no one recognizes the importance of emotion. You cannot ignore it."

"But it is the Jedi way," Master Gallia said incredulously. "What you suggest is heresy."

Murmurs broke out among the Council again.

"Padawan Berrik, if you would wait in the antechamber," Master Windu said, slumping back in his chair.

He felt, as I did, that this was not going to be good.

I bowed once more and exited the Council chamber. Obi-Wan stood and I let go of my composure and sighed.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, ushering me to the seats.

"I may have just condemned myself," I muttered, my head in my hands. I glanced at the Temple Guards. _Why in the Force were they here?_

"Well that can't be good."

I hummed, rubbing my temples.

"When is talk of emotion ever good?" I asked.

"Well, it certainly isn't good, but not condemning."

"I may have accused the entire Order of living in fear of emotions."

Obi-Wan spluttered. It took him a minute to regain his composure.

"_What?_"

"It wasn't smart, but I couldn't not say it. If the Order is to become better, they need to know what is wrong."

"Why in _the Force_ would you think that?" Obi-Wan asked. The couch shifted as he stood and his feet tread on the carpet.

"I'll tell you later," I said, sitting up and composing myself rapidly. "Master Windu is on his way to speak to me."

Sure enough, Master Windu exited the Council Chamber, looking tired.

"Padawan, if you would join me outside?" I stood and patted Obi-Wan on the shoulder as I followed my Master. The Temple Guards followed a few feet behind.

"They're arresting me, aren't they?" I asked quietly when the door had slid shut behind us. Master Windu sighed.

"Yes. That was not a smart move you made back there."

"No, but a necessary one."

_I agree,_ Master Windu replied through our connection. _But you must be more tactful than that in the future._

"I cannot stop them from arresting you, Padawan," Master Windu said out loud, placing a hand on my shoulder, "but I did manage to convince them to let you retain your Padawan status for the time being. There will be a trial later, one which I am not allowed to rule in."

"I understand, Master. I will go quietly."

"Thank you, Drinna," Master Windu said softly, frowning down at me. "And I am sorry." He walked past me and entered the antechamber.

One of the Temple Guards held out a hand for my lightsaber, and I handed it to him, staring ahead. The other one grabbed hold of my elbow.

"I said I will go quietly and I will," I said. "You do not need to worry." The hold on my arm was released. "Shall we?"

* * *

Obi-Wan was, to say the least, confused when Master Windu returned to the antechamber alone. He paused his pacing in shock.

"Master Windu-"

"The Council would like to speak with you, Kenobi," Master Windu said, walking towards the opposite doors. "I suggest you be more tactful than my Padawan was."

Obi-Wan sighed and placed an emotionless mask over his face. He trusted Drinna… but sometimes emotions got in the way. They _would_ get in the way now.

Master Windu took a seat and Obi-Wan bowed to the Council.

"Master Kenobi," Master Piell began, "how did Padawan Berrik come to be a mentor for your Padawan?"

"Anakin had been showing fear for some time and before the mission to Carnelion IV, he wanted to leave the Order. I-"

"Mention this, Padawan Berrik did," Master Yoda said. "Her suspicions, she did share."

"About the Chancellor?" Obi-Wan asked. Master Windu and Master Yoda exchanged looks.

"Yes. Can you tell us _why_ she suspects the Chancellor of corrupting Anakin?" Master Windu asked, leaning forward.

"I don't know the full reasons, but I suspect she has sensed something about him and does not trust him. But she has never met the man-"

"She met him after the Battle for Naboo," Master Windu countered.

"I mean that she has never had a conversation with the man. If I recall correctly, the Chancellor ignored her in favor of Anakin. He's shown great interest in Anakin's progress."

Master Windu hummed and sat back in his chair, glancing at Master Yoda. Master Windu waved a hand and Obi-Wan continued his story.

"After Carnelion IV, I was concerned and did not know what to do. I went to Drinna, as she has experience dealing with emotions. She offered her help and I took it."

"Her thoughts are heresy," Master Gallia said. Master Piell nodded his agreement.

"Maybe so," Obi-Wan said with a shrug. He considered his next words carefully. "But there is truth to her words, though I have not heard the greater part of them."

"What makes you say that?" Master Mundi asked.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, taking a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Anakin, as you know, has been full of fear since he first left Tatooine. Drinna, in her lessons, has been helping him search himself for the source of the fear, acknowledge it, and let go. His fear is not gone. It has only been two months, after all. But I have never seen him this… happy and open with the Force. He's changed, for the better I think."

The Council considered his words for a time.

"And you believe Drinna is the… source of this openness?" Master Windu asked.

"No," Obi-Wan said slowly. "Merely a conduit. A way for Anakin to learn to let go. She was wise, I believe, to have Anakin take his lessons in the Creche. He still struggles with attachment, but in time he will learn to let go - of his fear and of his attachments."

"Thank you, Master Kenobi," Master Windu said after a few moments of contemplative silence. "If you would wait in the antechamber, the Council would like to discuss the matter."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: And I'm back! Thank you all so much for your support! This is the last chapter before we delve into Attack of the Clones!**

**Thank you to ItsJustABook and Love. Fiction. 2020 (I know you don't have the spaces in your name, so sorry) for leaving reviews on the previous chapter! You have no idea how much it made me smile to see those comments.**

**ItsJustABook: Yes, the Council is extremely stubborn, but I think the way Drinna approaches and rephrases in the chapter will help her in the future. Let me know what you think about that, okay? Also, Piell (and I spelled his name wrong somewhere, I think) is kind of mean. I do like his characterization, but he does seem to be mean a bit, so I played with that. I'm planning something happy for him, though, after Attack of the Clones. And Obi-Wan, oh my gosh. It's funny how oblivious he and Anakin are in the movies, but I think part of that _has_ to be blamed on the Jedi Order for their failures. Because the Order really did fail Obi-Wan... So hopefully some of that resolves soon, yeah?**

**Love. Fiction. 2020: Thanks for commenting on my chapters! I'm glad you're enjoying!**

**Now we go onto the fun! Get ready for a guest appearance at the beginning of this chapter! (Sorry about all the exclamation marks?!) (Also, this chapter is kind of short... so sorry about that.)**

* * *

Waiting in my cell was not the most fun. The two Temple Guards who had escorted me here were silent statues outside my door. The perfect Jedi.

I nearly scoffed. Nobody, unfortunately, was perfect.

I had really blown it.

The door down the hallway slid open and two pairs of footsteps approached. I leaned forward to see if I could see who was coming. Would it be Master Windu?

The Temple Guards were dismissed and I finally looked up as an old friend entered the room.

"This is a sad day indeed," Master Dooku said, sitting next to me on the bed. "What happened?"

"Master Dooku," I said respectfully, bowing my head at each of them in turn. "I spoke in haste to the Council. They were not open to my words."

"Because emotions are not the way of the Jedi?" he asked. No, it was a statement. He sighed, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes, waving a hand lazily. "They will never listen, Drinna. If they could, they would turn their backs on you in an instant. And please, it's Count."

"Master Dooku!" I exclaimed, sitting up and staring at him. "This is unlike you, my friend."

"The Order is afraid of change, Drinna," Count Dooku said, opening his eyes, "surely you recognize it."

"Of course, I do, my friend," I replied, placating, "but it is unlike you to speak so… angrily about it." When had Master Dooku claimed the title of Count? He had had a brother who had the title… had something happened to his brother?

"I have learned a lot since Qui-Gon died," he said softly, closing his eyes again. "The Order is wasting lives, Drinna. For their own political reasons." Rage seeped off of my old friend in torrents. I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, but he cut me off. "They fear change. They fear _emotion_, Drinna. You recognize it, and I commend you for being here. You will show the Order why it is that emotion is important and how very, very wrong they are."

"They may be wrong about a lot, _Count_ Dooku, that much we can agree on, but I cannot agree to what you are suggesting. I would not destroy the Order, I would have it change."

"It is the only way, Drinna!" Count Dooku roared, standing. My eyes widened. My old friend… what had happened to him? Count Dooku took a deep breath. "My child, surely you see… the Order will not change. A new Order must arise and young Skywalker must be at the center if he truly is the Chosen One."

"Count Dooku, with all due respect, I will not force Anakin to do anything. You speak in haste and allow your emotions to control you! This is not what I stand for. I merely want the fear to be gone. I want the Order to learn to recognize emotion and to do what is best. I do not want to destroy my home or my family."

"It is the only way," Count Dooku said with a sigh. "Goodbye, Drinna. May we meet under better circumstances."

"Goodbye, Count Dooku," I returned softly. "Have you had any luck finding Master Dyas?" I asked.

Count Dooku stopped halfway up the stairs. A wave of sadness hit me.

"No," he said, not looking at me. And suddenly all emotions ceased emanating from him. He had closed himself off. Why? "The Jedi will not seek him out. He is a lost cause. My men from Serenno have had no luck finding him either."

"He mentioned something about the Pikes," I called as Count Dooku climbed the remaining stairs. "Does that help?" Dooku froze. Did he… know something?

"No, my dear. I'm afraid that nothing will help."

Master Dooku turned as he closed the ray shield doors.

"If you see the truth, seek me out, my friend," he said. "I will be training under a new master and a new Order. He knows the truth and he is in a position to do something about it. You could do something, but you do nothing. I wish you… luck, old friend."

He turned and left, once again a fortress lacking emotion. The two Temple Guards quickly took their places outside of my cell again.

I sat back on the bed, blinking. What had just happened? Master Dooku was… leaving the Order? But why?

I drew my knees to my chest and stared at the bottom of the stairs leading out of my confinement. Master Dooku had seemed different. Angry.

He had mentioned Qui-Gon… and I knew he had lost another Padawan on a mission. We had talked about one disastrous mission fraught with corrupt politics that Master Dooku had returned from years back. Eleven out of the twenty Jedi that had left on that mission came back dead.

_Galidraan_. That was the planet. I would have to look it up in the Archives… if I was released.

* * *

Obi-Wan sighed. He'd been doing that a lot, lately. Another week in the Creche without Drinna had passed, and Anakin was surprisingly content. He was in a meditative pose taking deep breaths and at least half of the younglings climbed all over him. Anakin usually got distracted by such things, but today he just smiled.

"You're troubled, Master," Anakin said, not opening his eyes. "Is it because Drinna isn't here?"

Obi-Wan sighed. He really needed to stop doing that.

"And you aren't troubled?" Obi-Wan asked, raising a brow at his Padawan. Anakin cracked open an eye and picked one of the younglings off of his head.

"Of course I'm troubled, Master. But Drinna told me not to worry, that the will of the Force would be what happened. So I'm working on not worrying. You should try it."

"When did she say that?" Obi-Wan asked, perking up.

"When she got arrested." Obi-Wan tried not to sigh. Of course Anakin had found ou-

"Wait, you saw her?"

"Yeah. The Temple Guards marched her right past the Creche. Ashla," he gestured to the young Togruta in his lap, "ran out to go meet her and Drinna sent her back to me. She said I should keep working on small emotions and not to worry and to try to keep you from worrying."

Obi-Wan sighed.

"You should stop doing that," Anakin said, trying hard not to smile.

"I know!" Obi-Wan protested, running a hand through his hair. "I just… don't know what to do."

* * *

Master Windu alerted me to his approach moments before the door slid open.

The Guards instantly stood at alert, opening the door to my cell. One grabbed my elbow and hauled me out.

"Drinna," Master Windu said, nodding. "It's time." I swallowed, nodding back. For all I knew, the Council would decide to expel me from the Order.

Master Windu lead the way to the Chamber of Judgement. Six more Temple Guards awaited us in the lower part of the Chamber where a raised platform stood. With a nod, the two accompanying us walked to the outer platform with my Master while I went to the inner platform. My platform continued to rise past the ceiling until I stood below the members of the Council.

Master Yoda was there along with Masters Gallia, Koon, Fisto, Mundi, and Billaba. They would be trying me.

"Padawan Berrik, charged you are with corrupting the Chosen One. How plead you?" Master Yoda asked. Even though I wanted to look to Master Windu, I did not and stood taller.

"Not guilty, Master," I said calmly. "I may not embody all the aspects of a Jedi, but I would not corrupt the Chosen One."

"Yet the words you speak condemn you," Master Gallia said. "You must know that emotion is forbidden. What have you to say?"

"I can acknowledge the wisdom in not allowing emotions to cloud judgement, but what I have been teaching Anakin Skywalker is _not_ to allow himself to be overcome with emotion. I have been teaching him how to recognize emotion and its validity, but then to let go. Is this not the Jedi way?" I asked, spreading my hands.

"What you say is true," Master Plo Koon said. "It is merely a… _different_ way of doing things."

"Not everything that is different is bad," I returned.

"And what of your words to the Council about the Order living in fear?" Master Billaba asked. "What can you say about that?"

I breathed deeply, closing my eyes.

"I cannot take back those words, but I admit I spoke irrationally and in haste. Shoving emotions down is not healthy… for anyone. The Jedi may believe they can deal with it, but bottling emotions up creates a ticking time bomb inside. Teaching that there is no emotion causes distress as Initiates and Padawans try to become the perfect Jedi and try to force away that which is natural. You cannot stop yourself from feeling emotion, but you can control your response. Shoving emotions away is one response and it is harmful. If the Jedi were to learn how to accurately _let go_ of emotion instead of shoving it deep down, the Jedi would be much more powerful."

"Hmm…" Master Yoda said, staring at me, eyes narrowed slightly. "Much to think about, you have given us. Reconvene in an hour to hear more, we will."

The platform lowered and Master Windu and the two Temple Guards stepped onto the outer platform as it lowered into the room below.

I walked off of the platform, letting out a shaky breath.

"Well done, Drinna," Master Windu said, a rare smile gracing his face. "Sit down." We sat on the padded bench a few feet away as the two Temple Guards took their place along the rounded wall.

"Is this normal?" I asked. Master Windu raised a brow at me. I rephrased. "Is it normal for the Council to discuss and then reconvene for more questions?"

"They won't be asking you any more questions, Drinna," Master Windu said. "They are deciding."

"Oh." I stared at my hands, rubbing the fabric of my pants between my fingers. "What do you think they will decide?"

"If I were to guess, I would say they would let you free," Master Windu said slowly. "But I am not sure. You made valid points and spoke calmly, but that does not guarantee your freedom."

"So we will have to wait," I said.

"So we will have to wait," Master Windu agreed.

* * *

Obi-Wan and Anakin stood anxiously underneath the tree under the center spire for Master Windu to return. The two had tried meditating, but had found it unfruitful under the circumstances.

"Master, do you think Drinna is going to be okay?" Anakin asked, fidgeting nervously. He was starting to feel a little cold, though it had nothing to do with the weather.

"She'll be fine," Obi-Wan said softly. "She's always managed."

"I don't think I can do this without her," Anakin admitted, equally soft. "I still have so much fear."

"And you are getting better and better each day," Obi-Wan told his student with a smile. "You'll get there."

"But what if Drinna is expelled from the Order?" Anakin asked, looking fearfully at Obi-Wan. "What will I do then?"

"Well," Obi-Wan said hesitantly. "She'll find a place to stay…"

"But what about our lessons?"

"We'll figure it out," Obi-Wan said. "I will admit you do need the lessons, no matter what the Council may say. I will _not_ let this stop your progress."

Anakin thought for a moment and smiled brightly.

"Okay."

They sat in comfortable silence for a time before Master Windu entered the courtyard. Anakin and Obi-Wan stood and bowed to him, waiting for the news. Master Windu raised a brow as Anakin bounced on the balls of his feet.

"The Council deemed her not guilty," Master Windu finally said. Anakin cheered while Obi-Wan let out a sigh of relief.

"But where is she?" Obi-Wan asked after a moment. Master Windu nodded.

"Resting. I had her show them a memory."

"What!" Obi-Wan cried. "To six people at once!"

"Seven, actually. I hadn't seen the memory, myself."

"She could have died!" Obi-Wan protested.

"Each of us fed her a little of our energy to sustain her. We would not have let her die."

Obi-Wan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Very well, I won't argue. May we see her?"

"She's resting, but feel free," Master Windu replied, waving them out of the courtyard. "Oh, and Kenobi?" Obi-Wan turned to face his friend's Master. "Try not to wake her up."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Aaaaaand I'm back! Woah, that took me awhile... Sorry. I was working on another story of mine. And then school... But I finally finished writing the Movie 2 arc! Though, some of the ending stuff may change.**

**Anyways, welcome to Attack of the Clones! We're finally going to get some good stuff. And then Clone Wars! So excited. Be warned, this is going to start diverging from canon towards the end of Attack of the Clones. You'll see what I mean once you reach Chapter 17. MWAHAHAHA!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Seven years later…_

I stood on the platform, disguised, as I watched Senator Amidala's ship descend along with three fighters for protection. Something felt… off. I hoped the Senator had used proper security measures this time.

I didn't want a repeat of the previous assasination attempt.

R2-D2 descended from one of the fighters as the pilot climbed out of the cockpit. I reached out and sensed it was the Senator. Good. She had used precautions.

A man from one of the other fighters approached me and Senator Amidala hurried over. He took his helmet off and took in a gulp of air.

"We made it," Captain Typho said. The ramp to the Senator's ship descended and one of the handmaidens exited as the Senator, surrounded by guards and another handmaiden. "I guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all."

"Something still isn't right," I said, eyeing them both.

"And you are?" Captain Typho asked with a frown. I opened my mouth to reply when I sensed danger and turned.

The handmaiden stepped on the bottom of the ramp and the ship exploded. Senator Amidala, Captain Typho, and I were flung back. I righted immediately, watching in horror as the ship was destroyed, debris flying everywhere.

Captain Typho had the good sense to get his gun out and follow the Senator as she ran to one of the handmaidens in the aftermath. I followed at a distance, reaching out with the Force to sense who was nearby.

The Senator removed her helmet as she knelt next to the almost dead form of the handmaiden.

"Corde," she gasped, turning her over.

"Milady, I'm so sorry," the handmaiden replied. "I've failed you, Senator."

"No," the Senator said, grief-stricken. Corde slumped, her breath expended. I had to shut myself off from the Senator. Her grief brushed against me like furious waves. Captain Typho knelt beside the Senator.

"Milady, you're still in danger here." I agreed silently, casting my eyes about. Captain Typho and the Senator stood as I approached.

"I shouldn't have come back."

"This vote is very important," I responded. Captain Typho turned to face me, glaring.

"You did your duty. Corde did hers. Now, come," Captain Typho said, attempting to lead the Senator away from me. She did not follow, only continued to stare at Corde in distress. "Senator Amidala, please."

The two walked right towards me.

"I won't ask again," Captain Typho growled, pointing his blaster at me. "Who are you?"

"I'm Jedi Knight Drinna Berrik," I responded with a bow. "I've been sent to help escort the Senator to safety." I turned to the Senator. "I am glad you are alright," I whispered, sending a wave of comfort through the Force. She relaxed a little and we went to her quarters.

* * *

I followed the Senator as she entered the Chancellor's office in haste with various other Senators and aides.

Grand Master Yoda walked toward us as my former Master, Master Windu, rose to greet me. Masters Ki-Adi Mundi, Kit Fisto, and Plo Koon exited, followed by Master Luminara and her Padawan Barriss Offee.

"We will discuss this matter later," the Chancellor said, rising to greet Senator Amidala.

"Senator Amidala, your tragedy on the landing platform - terrible," Master Yoda said. He gave me a small nod. "Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my heart."

"Do you have any idea who was behind this attack?" Senator Amidala asked. I stood off to the side and Master Windu approached.

"Our intelligence points to disgruntled spice miners on the moons of Naboo," Master Windu said, standing beside me.

"I think that Count Dooku was behind it," she replied, turning to face Master Windu and myself. I glanced at my former Master. Dooku had been a friend of mine. Why he would want to assassinate the Senator of Naboo was beyond me.

"He is a political idealist, not a murderer," Master Mundi said from above.

"You know, milady, Count Dooku was once a Jedi. He couldn't assassinate anyone. It's not in his character," Master Windu said. I looked steadily at Master Windu. Did he really believe that? He looked at me, sensing my question.

_What is it?_

_Do you truly believe that he wouldn't do so?_ I asked. _He_ did _leave the Order after all. And he mentioned being trained by someone when he spoke to me. He was angry. I think it quite possible that Dooku ordered this._

_I will consider_, came the response as Master Yoda spoke.

"But for certain, Senator, in grave danger you are."

"Master Jedi," the Chancellor inputted. I sucked in an inaudible breath, but Master Windu still looked at me. "May I suggest the Senator be placed under the protection of your graces."

"The Senator is-" Master Windu began, gesturing to me.

"Do you really think that's a wise decision under these stressful times?" Senator Organa asked, an apology in his eyes as he glanced my way.

"Chancellor, if I may comment, I do not believe-" Senator Amidala began.

"-The situation is that serious?" the Chancellor finished. "No, but I do, Senator," he said, moving towards us. "I realize all too well that additional security might be disruptive for you, but perhaps someone you're familiar with," the Chancellor said, ignoring me completely. "An old friend, like Master Kenobi."

I glanced at the Senator. She seemed… conflicted. And I? I was downright confused. I was a friend of the Senator and was already assigned to protect her. Why bring in anyone else?

"Senator Amidala is already under the protection of my former Padawan, Drinna Berrik," Master Windu spoke up. "Surely that is enough."

"Perhaps," the Chancellor said, his gaze narrowing and sweeping to me.

I froze, eyes widening as I was fixed with the most cold feeling I had ever felt. Something was _very_ wrong about the Chancellor. Master Windu sensed my discomfort, but could do nothing as the Chancellor approached and began to speak again.

"However, I would like the Senator in more… capable hands. Hands _I_ know. Your former… Padawan fits neither of those," the Chancellor said dismissively, waving me away.

Master Windu and the Senator frowned.

"Bring in Master Kenobi," the Chancellor said. "It will be good for the Senator."

"That's possible," Master Windu said slowly, removing his gaze from mine. "He's just returned from a border dispute on Ansion." I glanced in surprise at Master Windu. Obi-Wan had returned so soon?

"Do it for me, milady. Please?" the Chancellor implored Senator Amidala. "The thought of losing you… is unbearable." The Senator gave a slight nod and the room burst into movement again.

"I will have Obi-Wan report to you immediately, milady," Master Windu said, sparing me a regretful glance.

"Thank you, Master Windu," the Senator replied. Master Windu and I left the room immediately thereafter, communicating via our bond.

_Something is… off about the Chancellor_, Master Windu mentioned.

_I felt it, Master_, I responded, my eyes straight ahead. _It was… cold._

_Cold? Hmm… That's odd._

_Yes, well, Obi-Wan and Anakin will take good care of the Senator._ I sighed, rubbing my temples.

* * *

"I'm sorry the Chancellor said that about you, Drinna," Senator Amidala said to me as we walked down one of her hallways.

"It's alright, Senator," I responded. "Master Kenobi is more suited for the job anyways."

"Drinna, please call me Padme. You _are_ my friend after all."

"My apologies, Padme," I said with a smile and a bow to tease her. I got the desired result of laughter. "Are you nervous to see him?"

"Who? Obi-Wan?" Padme asked incredulously.

"No. Anakin." The Senator's breath hitched momentarily, a dizzy smile on her face. She shook it away suddenly.

"No. He will have to remain the little boy from Tatooine," she responded with a frown. "I can't get caught up in things."

"You may well find that he is no longer such a little boy," I responded softly as Padme moved away at the sound of Jar Jar's voice.

"Senator Padme!" Jar Jar called. "Mesa palos here! Lookie, lookie, Senator. Desa Jedi arriven." Obi-Wan bowed as Padme, Captain Typho, and Dorme approached. I held back by the window. Anakin merely stared at the Senator, not bothering to conceal his feelings.

"It's a great pleasure to see you again, milady," Obi-Wan said, ever the diplomat. I smiled at him, but he didn't seem to recognize my presence.

"It's been far too long, Master Kenobi. Perhaps you would be more pleased to see an old friend?" Padme asked, waving me over. I walked over slowly and Obi-Wan's gaze slid to mine. My smile widened as he looked stunned, but happy to see me.

"Drinna," he finally said with a grin as I stopped before him.

"Obi-Wan," I responded softly, reaching to hug him. His arms slid around me gently as I tucked my head onto his chest and closed my eyes. He was still taller than me.

"Ani?" I heard Padme ask as we straightened. She had finally acknowledged Anakin. "My goodness, you've grown." I had to repress a sigh as Anakin moved forward eagerly.

"So have you," Anakin said breathlessly. I bit my lip to keep from groaning. Poor teenagers. "Grown more beautiful, I mean." Padme had a hard time fighting her emotions. "Well, f-for a Senator, I mean."

And just like that, the moment was ruined. Obi-Wan glanced at me in distress and I shrugged as Padme chuckled awkwardly, grinning nevertheless.

"Ani, you'll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine," she finally said. Obi-Wan winced as he glanced at me and I nodded. Padme turned away and walked to the couches and the others followed suite. I stood behind Padme's couch as Anakin and Obi-Wan took the opposite couch.

"Our presence here will be invisible, milady, I can assure you. And with Drinna here as well-" Obi-Wan began.

"Oh, Drinna won't be helping you, I'm afraid," Padme said with a frown. "The Chancellor requested you two for the job and didn't want Drinna involved."

"Why not?" Obi-Wan asked, confusion evident in his voice and on his face.

"I don't know," Padme responded.

"I'm Captain Typho of Her Majesty's security service," the Captain said to break the silence, standing beside me. "Queen Jamillia has been informed of your assignment. I am grateful you are here, Master Kenobi. The situation is more dangerous than the Senator will admit," he said, glancing at Padme.

"I don't need more security," Padme said, barely concealing her exasperation. "I need answers. I want to know who's trying to kill me."

"We are here to protect you, Senator, not to start an investigation," Obi-Wan replied.

"We will find out who's trying to kill you, Padme," Anakin said, staring steadily at the Senator and ignoring any sense of tact or politics. I sighed. Perhaps Anakin wasn't ready to face Padme yet. His lessons had been going good, but now? "I promise you."

"We will not exceed our mandate, my _young Padawan learner_," Obi-Wan said, turning his head to face Anakin. I was inclined to agree with Obi-Wan.

"I meant that in the interest of protecting her, Master," Anakin responded.

"We will not go through this exercise again, Anakin," Obi-Wan muttered, "and you will pay attention to my lead."

"Why?" Anakin asked suddenly. I glared at the boy. _Hormones._

"What?" The Senator's party watched the conversation unfold tensely. I was on the verge of stepping in and speaking to Anakin.

"Why else do you think we were assigned to her if not to find the killer? Protection is a job for local security, not Jedi. It's overkill, Master. Investigation is implied in our mandate."

"We will do exactly as the Council has instructed," Obi-Wan said through gritted teeth. "And you will learn your place, young one."

There was a moment of silence and I cleared my throat.

"Anakin, it's been so long. Would you care to go on a walk with me?" I asked, motioning towards the elevator. Anakin glared, but Obi-Wan looked over to me in relief.

"Perhaps with merely your presence, the mystery surrounding this threat will be revealed," Padme said placatingly. "Now, if you'll excuse me," she said, standing, "I will retire." Obi-Wan and I bowed while the Senator and Dorme left the antechamber.

"I know I'll feel better having you here," Captain Typho said. "I'll have an officer stationed on every floor, and I'll be in the control center downstairs."

Captain Typho left and I took Obi-Wan on a silent tour of the antechamber.

"Mesa busten wit happiness seein yousa again, Ani," Jar Jar said.

"She hardly even recognized me, Jar Jar," Anakin replied. "I've thought about her every day since we parted, and she's forgotten me completely."

Obi-wan and I walked over.

"Shesa happy. Happier den mesa seein her in a longo time."

"You're focusing on the negative, Anakin," I said. "Be mindful of your thoughts."

"She was pleased to see us," Obi-Wan said softly, trying - and failing - to conceal a grin. "Now, let's check the security."

"I need to head back to the Temple for reassignment," I called as Obi-Wan and Anakin moved away. "I'll come check on you later."

"Bye, Drinna," Anakin called. Obi-Wan merely smiled and waved.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Aaaaaand I'm back! I'll try to remember to upload every Saturday until we get through the Attack of the Clones arc and head into Clone Wars. I'm so excited for how this is all going to play out!**

* * *

"I know, but we also want to catch this assassin, don't we, Master?" Anakin was asking.

"Okay, what's going on?" I asked, entering the room. Obi-Wan had removed his robe which was draped over the arm of the couch.

"You're using her as bait," Obi-Wan said, folding his arms and approaching Anakin.

"You're what?" I asked. Anakin barely turned around as I approached.

"It was her idea," Anakin defended. "Don't worry. No harm will come to her. I can sense everything going on in that room. Trust me."

"Anakin," I said softly, standing next to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan glanced over his shoulder at the Senator's rooms.

"It's too risky," Obi-Wan said. "Besides, your senses aren't that attuned, my young apprentice."

"And yours are?" Anakin asked incredulously.

Obi-Wan turned back to Anakin slowly.

"Possibly."

"Even if his aren't," I finally said. "_Mine_ are. Now get to work." The two boys sheepishly began patrolling the antechamber. I shook my head.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

Obi-Wan leaned against the back of a couch, watching Anakin as he stared out the window, fingering the ledge.

"You look tired," he finally commented.

"I don't sleep well anymore," Anakin admitted, turning to face his Master.

"Because of your mother?" Obi-Wan asked. Anakin hesitated before nodding.

"I don't know why I keep dreaming about her." I sensed Obi-Wan's gaze linger on me for a moment before he moved forward.

"Dreams pass in time," he finally said. "But if you're worried, talk to Drinna."

"I'd much rather dream about Padme," Anakin said, moving away from the window and past Obi-Wan. "Just being around her again is… intoxicating." My gaze snapped to Anakin as he said that.

That was not a good sign. Obi-Wan sensed my discomfort and glanced at me. I shook my head.

_Later. We need to mediate._ Obi-Wan nodded and tried not to sigh.

"Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin. They betray you," he said. "You made a commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment not easily broken."

I frowned at Obi-Wan. We both knew it was easier than Obi-Wan was letting on. He had, after all, left the Order briefly years ago. But Anakin didn't know that. "And don't forget, she's a politician, and they're not to be trusted."

I snorted, turning my back from the two other Jedi. Of course Obi-Wan didn't trust politicians. He was practically one himself.

"She's not like the others in the Senate, Master," Anakin argued.

I froze. Something felt… off. I tilted my head, tuning the boys out as they argued to try to get a feel for the situation, moving slowly towards the Senator's rooms.

_Two kouhuns moving acrossing the bedsheets, making their way to Senator Amidala's prone figure…_

"I sense it, too," Obi-Wan said. The two took off running behind me and I opened the door, stepping to the side as they leaped in, lightsabers ignited.

Anakin lept on the bed and cut the kouhuns in two as Obi-Wan looked around. Padme jolted up, gasping. Obi-Wan dashed to the window and jumped out. I rushed after him, watching in confusion as he held onto a… droid?

_Must be what brought the kouhuns_.

"Stay here!" Anakin commanded, running out of the room. I turned as Dorme entered, followed by Captain Typho and a few guards. I made my way to the bed.

"Are you alright, milady?" Dorme asked. Padme nodded numbly.

"The assassin sent two kouhuns," I said, nodding to the remains of the poisonous centipedes. "I'll handle the remains."

Levitating the kouhun halves, I took them with me outside the Senator's tower, comming for an airspeeder as I went.

"Where are you, Obi-Wan?" I yelled into my comlink as Obi-Wan established a connection.

"Near an _Outlander Club_," came the reply.

"Get me there, now!" I told the driver. He nodded and flew me there.

Obi-Wan was handing Anakin his lightsaber as I jogged up.

"Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?" Obi-Wan asked, leading the way into the club.

"Don't say that, Master," Anakin returned. "You're the closest thing I have to a father."

"Then why don't you listen to me?"

"I am trying."

We looked around the club and I reached out in the Force, not knowing what I was looking for.

"Can you see him?" Obi-Wan asked.

"I think _he_ is a _she_, and I think she is a changeling," Anakin said. The two exchanged a glance and Obi-Wan sighed, nodding.

"In that case, be extra careful." Obi-Wan nodded to the other end of the room and held out an arm to me, which I took. "Go and find her."

"Where are you two going?" Anakin asked.

"For a drink," Obi-Wan replied, stopping to look back. I rolled my eyes as we continued on our way to the bar.

"Thank you," Obi-Wan murmured as he took his drink. I let my senses wander throughout the room.

"A good cover," I murmured into my own drink, eyeing Obi-Wan. "You've learned well."

"Yes, well, I had a good teacher," he responded, turning to smile at me.

"A fair teacher. She doesn't know _everything_, after all," I responded.

"Yes, well-"

"You wanna buy some death sticks?" a man asked from Obi-Wan's right. Obi-Wan didn't even glance at him as he waved his hand, forcing a thought into the man's mind.

"You don't want to sell me death sticks."

"I don't want to sell you death sticks," the man said, looking away from Obi-Wan and reaching for a drink.

"You want to go home and rethink your life," Obi-Wan said, waving his hand again before the man could take a drink. The man looked troubled.

"I want to go home and rethink my life," he said and left. Obi-Wan gave me a small smirk before knocking back his drink. I shook my head gently.

"This is not the time to get drunk, Obi-Wan," I said. "You do remember…" Someone was approaching.

"I sense it," Obi-Wan muttered, putting his drink down and turning.

"Don't," I replied, putting a hand on his arm and forcing out a laugh. He looked at me, confused. "If we want to catch the changeling, act natural." Obi-Wan turned, back slightly tensed but resumed a half-hearted conversation with me.

The changeling was a few feet away when Obi-Wan turned, ignited his lightsaber, and cut off the arm holding the blaster. Everyone around us gasped as she cried out and sunk to the ground. I picked her up by her remaining arm and forced her to stand.

"Easy," Anakin said as he approached. "Jedi business. Go back to your drinks." Obi-Wan took over my hold of the changeling and I led the way out of the club, finding an alleyway to interrogate the pained woman.

Obi-Wan, not too gently, set the woman on the ground and immediately began. I stood off to the side, opening my senses for anyone approaching.

"Do you know who it was you were trying to kill?" he asked. The woman moaned briefly in pain.

"It was a Senator from Naboo," she gasped out.

"And who hired you?" Obi-Wan asked.

"It was just a job," she replied, looking at Obi-Wan. Anakin leaned in closer.

"Who hired you? Tell us." Obi-Wan glanced at Anakin, sensing the anger he held. "Tell us now!"

"It was a bounty hunter," she finally said. "called-" I cursed as a dart hit her on the neck. Obi-Wan and Anakin's gaze slid where mine went. They had a pair of rockets and took off. Had that been Mandalorian armor?

"Wee shahnit… sleemo," the changeling gasped out. They slumped to the ground, dead.

After a moment, Obi-Wan pulled the dart out and inspected it.

"Toxic dart." Anakin nodded and checked for a pulse. Obi-Wan glanced at me and I nodded, knowing what he was thinking.

But first, we needed to report to the Council and check on Padme.

* * *

"Track down this bounty hunter, you must Obi-Wan and Drinna," Yoda said.

"Most importantly," Master Windu said, "find out who he's working for." I nodded.

"What about Senator Amidala?" Obi-Wan asked, concerned. "She will still need protecting."

"Handle that, your Padawan will," Master Yoda said, pointing to Anakin.

"Anakin, escort the Senator back to her home planet of Naboo," Master Windu commanded. "She'll be safer there. And don't use registered transport. Travel as refugees." Wise advise. A perfect cover.

"As the leader of the opposition, it will be very difficult to get Senator Amidala to leave the Capital," Anakin said. Master Windu nodded and looked to Master Yoda.

"Until caught this killer is, our judgment she must respect." Master Yoda hummed, sensing something.

"Anakin, go to the Senate and ask Chancellor Palpatine to speak with her about this matter," Master Windu said, giving me a small glance at the mention of the Chancellor. It seemed he agreed with me about trusting him.

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and I bowed and left the Council Chamber.

* * *

Obi-Wan asked me to walk with him as he rushed to catch up to the Grand Master and my former Master.

We bowed as they paused to let us walk with them.

"Speak," Master Yoda commanded.

"I am concerned for my Padawan," Obi-Wan said. "He is not ready to be given this assignment on his own yet."

"I agree. His handle on his feelings are much better, but seeing the Senator pushed him back months, maybe even years," I said. "He will be able to catch back up, but I don't believe he is quite ready for this."

"The Council is confident in its decision, Obi-Wan, Drinna," Master Yoda replied. I nodded, trusting Master Yoda. If he believed Anakin could do it, then he could.

"The boy has exceptional skills," Master Windu said. "And he has been taught well."

"But he still has _much_ to learn, Master," Obi-Wan protested. I smiled. It seemed Obi-Wan was rather attached to his young learner. "His abilities have made him, well, arrogant." We stopped.

"Yes, yes," Master Yoda said. "A flaw more and more common among Jedi." He hummed. "Too sure of themselves, they are. Even the older, more experienced ones," Master Yoda said, giving Obi-Wan a pointed look. Obi-Wan nodded, a little humbled.

"Remember, Obi-Wan," Master Windu said, "if the prophecy is true, your apprentice is the only one who can bring the Force back into balance."

"Yes, Masters," Obi-Wan replied, bowing. We left the two Masters to discuss as we headed toward the Archives for a quick check.

"I still don't-" Obi-Wan began. I quickly cut him off.

"Obi-Wan, Anakin has to be ready for his assignment. The Council will not change their minds. I believe he can do it, now you need to. If he thinks you think he can't do it, he will struggle more than he is going to," I said, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "He relies on you for his sense of accomplishment. Don't take that from him, merely try new tactics to uplift him while still making him humble."

Obi-Wan sighed, lifting my hand from his shoulder and holding it, looking at it briefly before he spoke, raising his eyes to mine with a small smile.

"Wise words as always, Drinna. I will do my best." I smiled and nodded.

"Now, shall we go to the Archive? We _are_ running out of time before the two leave."

* * *

"Be safe, milady," Captain Typho said, standing and moving with Padme and Corde to the front of the bus.

"Thank you, Captain," Padme responded. "Take good care of Dorme. The threat's on you two now." Obi-Wan, Anakin, and I stood.

"He'll be safe with me," Corde joked, glancing at Captain Typho before looking down, unable to control her tears.

"You'll be fine," Padme said with a small smile.

"It's not me, milady," Corde responded. "I worry about you. What if they realize you've left the Capital?"

"Well," Padme said, glancing at Anakin behind her, "then my Jedi protector will have to prove how good he is."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, stopping his Padawan from joining Padme, "Don't do anything without first consulting either myself or the Council." I gave Obi-Wan an exasperated look and Obi-Wan sighed. "I apologize. You have this under control." Obi-Wan genuinely smiled at Anakin, putting a hand on his shoulder. "If you run into trouble, feel free to contact one of us. Remember your training. You have done well in the past, you can do this, too."

Anakin smiled in gratitude and nodded.

"I won't let you down, Master, Drinna. Thank you for believing in me." I smiled at him as Obi-Wan removed his hand and cleared his throat, stepping towards the Senator.

"We'll get to the bottom of this plot quickly, milady," Obi-Wan said. "You'll be back here in no time."

"I'll be most grateful for your speed, Master Jedi," Padme replied. Obi-Wan bowed and Anakin pulled me back from joining Obi-Wan.

"Thank you, Drinna, for your training," he whispered. I smiled wider.

"Of course, Anakin. It has been my pleasure." I moved to leave and his grip on my arm tightened. "Is everything alright?"

"I am… conflicted," he admitted. "I think I have feelings for Padme. I know I can trust you not to tell Obi-Wan."

"It's alright, Anakin," I said, pulling his hand off of my gently. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "You can do this. You do currently have a commitment to an Order which forbids attachment, so you must… _obey_ that formally, but I do believe you and Padme can work this out. Remember your training. You know how to search yourself for emotion and which emotions are good and which are bad. If this grows into something bad, know that I have full confidence in you, and Obi-Wan does, too. You can contact either of us at any time, alright?" Anakin nodded with a smile.

"You are most wise, Drinna. Thank you." There was a small silence when Anakin considered his next question. "Does Obi-Wan really believe in me?"

"Of course he does, Anakin!" I responded. "He just wants to protect you and forgets sometimes that you're growing up. This will be a good opportunity for both of you to learn what it will be like when you become a Jedi Knight."

"Okay," Anakin said, sounding like the twelve year old boy who was first experiencing emotional control. "I trust both of you."

"Good. Now, it's time to leave." Anakin nodded, turning to Padme.

"It's time to go," he said.

"I know," she responded.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan called before he could descend the steps. "May the Force be with you." Anakin smiled widely.

"May the Force be with you, Master. Drinna." Anakin reached over and grabbed most of the luggage and Padme grabbed the remaining case. The two stepped down, side by side. R2 followed as Obi-Wan and I watched the three leave.

"I do hope he doesn't try anything foolish," Obi-Wan said as Captain Typho stepped up beside us.

"I'd be more concerned about her doing something than him," the Captain replied, the two giving each other a look before staring into the crowd.

The refugee ship took off, and Obi-Wan and I made our way to find Dex.


End file.
